I should just kill myself now

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"Mia Mia Mia Mia" I heard the shouting coming from a familiar voice, I opened my eyes and zoella was leaning right over me omg. I then realised she was my new mum. I was lying in the soft rocks, anxiety and panic was still rushing through me like a milkshake from mc Donald's, I realised that I had an anxiety expert sat right next to me, she told me to take deep breaths and I did, suddenly I felt much better. I turned my head to smile at zoe, her face was filled with tears.

"We lost nala" she cried

Damn it no no no no no I can't believe I've gone and done this, I deserve to die, without thinking I ran down the beach, screaming her name in Zoe's annoying high pitched voice, I would look all night if I had to! We spent so long searching, by the end I didn't care about the stupid dog, I just wanted to see Zoe and Alfie's house, I mean I met the dog so one dream is complete right? But then we saw her, sat on the beach, asleep.

"Oh no poor nala" I cried "she must've been alone for at least fifteen minutes"

I let Zoe hold her as we couldn't risk another panic attack and she called Alfie, saying she found her, by then it was so late so we decided to head back.

I already knew the way to their house as I used to go there all the time to look in their windows, seeing them live their happy life, while I was destined to end up alone, or so I thought, I just couldn't believe I was going to join them in this life.

When we reached the house, something was different, there was a massive security gate! I looked over at Zoe questionably.

"People used to come to our windows, look at us, take pictures, sometimes even harassed us, we had to get it done." She had teared up and I gave her a hug, what awful people would do such a thing, it's their private life and I can't believe someone would want to invade that, some people are such creeps.

We went in and I stood at the doorway, feeling awkward about entering, not feeling like it was truly my home.

"What are you waiting for" she smiled "welcome home"

A lone tear rolled down my face nobody had ever treated me this nice. I entered and snuggled into her warm embrace beginning to feel closer to her.

As it was a Wednesday, a new PLL was out, it was my fave show and I always got very annoyed throughout the day if I hadn't watched it, so me and Zoe sat on the sofa, opened up her Netflix and played the episode, I pulled a pillow to my arms, hugging it so I wouldn't get scared, the incredible acting in this show made it so that it was impossible not to scream at least ten times an episode! My favourite is Emily as I think she is the most complex character, but then Zoe said hers was Hannah, so I told her mine was too!

Alfie creeped in halfway through the episode, and scared the hebbie jeebies out of me he then snuggled up to Zoe and a rush of fangirl rushed through me, they are so dang cute. When the episode finished, they asked what I wanted from dominos. And I got so excited I had never had dominos or even pizza as my orphanage didn't let us, when I told Zoe that she almost had a panic attack. I was scared to try pizza, as I just had four cheesy garlic breads, because you can never fail with garlic bread.

It got very late and Zoe had gone to bed, I began to feel very awkward around him, his hotness was overwhelming and I was scared I wouldn't be able to control myself, knowing that he was at my side, I reminded myself that he was my dad and that stopped my ovaries from exploding. I had never been shown my room, so when it reched 8:30, and I was extremely exhausted, I didn't know where I was supposed to sleep. I quietly asked where I was going to sleep, not wanting to intrude. He showed me to my room and I was so amazed!

I had a king sized bed and a walk in wardrobe, the colour scheme was pink, purple and mint green, colours that complimented each other so much! I flopped on the bed and plugged in my earphones, I switched on my favourite song, sweatshirt by jacob sartorious and sang along quietly, because it is just one of those songs that you have to sing along to.

Chillin' with a hair tie,
No makeup, with some sweatpants on
You know I can always be that guy
You can think about me all night long

But I think you need something to think of me
Something that will keep you warm
And show you we can be more than just this
So, baby, if you are not ready for my kiss

Then you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We'll be together 'til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
'Cause you're the only one I hold
And I don't want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my...

When you go to sleep at night,
When you wake up in the morning
And when you walk the halls
See, girl, you know you wanna flaunt it

Said this may be the start of something new
Girl, I'm gonna tell you exactly what I wanna do...
...is more than just this
So, baby, if you are not ready for my kiss

Then you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We'll be together 'til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
'Cause you're the only one I hold
And I don't want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my

And you can wear my sweatshirt
And I don't want you to be cold
So you can wear my...

So you can wear my sweatshirt
And you can tell your friends
We'll be together 'til the end
Girl, you can wear my sweatshirt
'Cause you're the only one I hold
And I don't want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my

...sweatshirt
'Cause you're the only one I hold
And I don't want you to be cold
So, baby, wear my...

And at that I drifted off.

&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@&@

Sorry I just had to include my favourite artist! He is soooo cute like seriously whenever I hear that son I just want to dance.

Xoxo Frey Frey

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