I Promise (A Connor McDonough Fan Fiction)

XVI

I read somewhere that, 'The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained' and that's true. How do I know? Because I felt it. It's been 4 years. Four years since Cali's death, 48 months since I last heard from Connor, 216 weeks since I last felt complete. It's been that long and Connor never said goodbye to me but I know it deep inside my heart, as much as I don't want to admit it, that everything's over between us. I tried to get ahold of him for a few more times but after about a week of trying and getting nothing in return, I gave up. I gave up on contacting him and I gave up on us.

I lost contact with the other boys 2 months after I moved back to California. Why? Both sides are at fault here. The boys have been busy writing songs for their new album and touring around the world, and me, I've been busy with college; I was studying to become a doctor. And I can say that all my hard work paid off because now, I'm a licensed physician and now working on my residency.

Over the four years, a lot has changed about me. I grew about two inches taller, that's one. Second, my dark brown hair that used to be just below my shoulder is now up to my waist and they have blonde highlights already. Third, I am now wearing nerdy glasses for real – not just for fashion or anything – because my vision worsen due to all the reading that I did in medical school. Last but not the least, I lost some, okay maybe a lot, weight. My old 130 pounds self is now a skinny less than 100 pound lady. Blame school stress. My arms and thighs are so skinny I could probably be mistaken to an anorexic person.

And it was as if my own iPad was rubbing it in my face, the iTunes decided to play Forever & Always by Taylor Swift. It's a great life, isn't it?

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called

And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all

And you flashback to when he said forever and always

Oh, and it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

'Cause I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't meant it baby, I don't think so

Yup, he didn't mean it, alright. You know it, Taylor.

As of this moment, I'm at Starbucks in Orlando having my break. Six months ago, I was accepted to do my internship at the hospital where Cali was confined, which was my first choice. I just wanted to have some kind of motivation for me to continue in the medical field. Cali dreamt of being a doctor like I did and I think working at the hospital where my sister lived her last moments helped a lot in keeping me sane between all the stress and pressure, and in reminding me of why I was there.

“Venti Salted Caramel Frappuccino with extra whipped cream and coffee jelly for Meg?” The barista at the counter called out for my drink. I removed my earphone and went to the counter to claim it. After showing my receipt to the barista and having it stamped, I got my drink and went back to my seat.

I was going through some medical e-books to keep me refreshed of the things that I should know about my field. Right now, I'm specializing to become a Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon, a doctor of bones for kids. I was learning about bone cysts and tumors when my phone rang with that familiar but annoying ring tone. I looked at the caller ID and it read 'Patrick <3'.