Hunger and Highs (BEING REWRITTEN)

Five- Eating

//edited\\

~Tyler~

We walked into the Taco Bell, and the aroma instantly hit my nose and I sighed contentedly. It used to be my favorite place to eat at until I realized that it was one reason as to why I was getting fat.

"Go sit, I'll order." Josh said, and I immediately started shaking my head.

"I'm not hungry."

"I don't really give a fuck. You're going to eat something." He said sternly and I just nodded and went to sit at a booth. About five minutes later he sat down across from me with a large bag of food, and two sodas. "I got like one of everything so whatever you want, you can have." He said as he handed my my drink and put his straw in his own. I looked at the food longingly, knowing that I hadn't had my favorite food in a good three months, but also knowing that I would put weight back on if I did give in.

"I just ate, really." I said with a small smile and his look honestly scared me.

"Tyler fucking Joseph." He stated deeply. He brought out a taco and set in front of me. "You better eat that, or I'm going to be shoving something more than just food down your throat." He said and we just sat there for a minute; then I bursted out laughing, causing him to blush. "Shit I didn't mean it like that. Dammit Tyler!" He was laughing too, and I was wiping tears from my eyes. After we calmed down, he looked at me gently. "Will you please just eat the damn thing?" He asked, and I sighed.

"Well, since you said please and didn't threaten to gag me." I stated as I unwrapped the taco. I loved tacos, and brownies, but that's for a different time. I hesitantly took a bite of the food, feeling incredibly self conscious as Josh stared at me. I looked everywhere but at him as I chewed and got used to the foreign feeling of the food. It was a heavenly feeling, and I knew I'd regret it later but I really wanted to enjoy that food. So I took another bite and hummed contentedly. He smiled at me. "What?" I asked, blushing slightly.

"Nothing." He stated, yet he was still smiling as he ate his burrito. He cleared his throat awkwardly as he balled up his wrapper and set it to the side. "So I was thinking that I was ready to tell you why I became a drug addict." He stated quietly.

"You don't have to, Josh. I'm sure it's hard to talk about." I reassured him and he shrugged, digging in the bag for something else. He pulled out another taco and a quesadilla. He handed me the quesadilla and I didn't want to take it, but he was very persistent.

"I think it's about time I actually talk about it. I never even talked to my parents about it, and maybe if I had, they wouldn't have gotten divorced but that's for another time." He chuckled sadly and I felt my heart clench at the sight in front of me. He was one of those guys that seemed to hold all of his emotions in and never let them out until they reached their peak.

"Then I'm all ears." I stated softly. He nodded and took a breath.

"When I first turned sixteen, I didn't have my own car. However, once I got a job and started back with school, my parents bought me one. Shitty, but a car nonetheless." He said and I nodded. "My parents worked their asses off, and the only thing my little eleven year old and nine year old brother and sister could think about was going to the zoo. My parents never had time too, and so when it was fall break they asked me to take them. It was a fairly good drive since there wasn't a zoo anywhere near. I agreed without question, and we left pretty early. However we wound up leaving later than intended and it started raining." He clenched his fist.

"You don't have to-"

"It was cold outside, and I probably should have stopped and waited it out since the kids were asleep but I didn't. With the slick roads, another car came out a curve the same time we did, and they had slid into my lane before I had a chance to try and stop or slow down. They hit us head on." He put his head in his hands as he took a shaky breath. "I was the only survivor. Six people died that day, Tyler. Four kids, two adults. I nearly died, and that's where I'd originally got hooked on pain pills. I didn't like taking them until my parents started cutting me off. They wouldn't even look at me half the time. So I'd take the pills to numb not only the physical pain, but the emotional too. I caused their divorce, all because the seat belts malfunctioned, and I lived."

"There's no way that's your fault though!" I said with wide eyes. "That's insane to blame it on you!" I exclaimed and he sniffed.

"They wouldn't even listen to the cops when they told them what could've saved them. All they could do was sit there and be numb. I don't think they ever really got over the shock, let alone coping with it." He said tiredly.

"Josh-"

"Josh!" A high pitched voice squealed, and I immediately turned my attention to a girl with long hair and a flawless face come skipping over to him.

"Hey, Debby." He said with a small, forced smile. She didn't seem to notice as she wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek.

"I've missed you." She pouted and holy shit, she even looked good doing that. How the hell do you compete with that? Wait, what am I competing for again? "Did you have another flare up?" She said and he nodded.

"Yes, I met up with Brendon and we got fucked up if that's what you're insinuating." He stated, and she giggled.

"Yeah, that's what I meant." She turned to me. "And who's this?" She bit her lip with a small smile on her face, but I could see the judgement in her eyes.

"This is Tyler, he's helping me out with my dad." He said and I eyed her curiously as she smirked widely. I had a bad feeling about her.

"Well, I've gotta go. And you know," she started, giving him a look that probably would've turned anyone on. "You could've came to me for help with that." And then she kissed him on the lips; quite roughly might I add, and then got up. "Love you!"

"Love you too." He grumbled back and I waited until she left before I groaned and hit my head on the table. He chuckled. "What?"

"She's so pretty and perfect- ugh!" I whined and he just laughed a little harder. "How can someone be so perfect? Her pouting was even perfect! It's not humanly possible to be that fucking perfect!" I exclaimed, a small smile creeping onto my face as he watched me in amusement. "What?"

"You're pretty cool yourself, Ty." He said and I looked away to hide my blush. I took a breath.

"Wanna make a deal?" I asked and he raised a brow. I bit my lip. "I help you, and you help me?" I asked quietly, and his features softened.

"Sounds fair." He stated simply and I looked at him expectantly. He stuck his hand out over the table to me. "You've got yourself a deal." He said as I shook his hands.

"Details?"

"Every day you don't eat, and don't think I won't find out because I fucking will, I get to get high or drunk." He said and I pouted.

"That's not fair! Sometimes I literally have no appetite! It's part of my anxiety and depression!" I exclaimed and my eyes widened when I realized I just told him that I had something wrong with me in the head.

"Then I guess I'm gonna get high a few times." He said with a smirk and I rolled my eyes, taking a bit out of my somehow nearly gone quesadilla. "And you look pretty damn good pouting too." He pointed out with a wink and I groaned again.

"Oh please fuck off." I said and he laughed.

"You wish, Joseph. You wish."

I actually thought I was okay... Oh well!

Likes and comments appreciated