Hunger and Highs (BEING REWRITTEN)

Nine- Girlfriends

//edited\\

~Tyler~

I was taking a shower, feeling a bit weird after dinner. It wasn't a bad kind of weird, just weird. I almost felt content, having pretty much everyone home for a family meal for the the first time in forever was refreshing. It reminded me of when I didn't have to worry about what the world thought about me, because I was a kid. I had no worries, I loved life, and I smiled for no reason. I never worried about a damn thing, and now I worried about everything. It all started when I was about fourteen.

~

It was a colder day, surprisingly cold for only being September. It was that month where it would be hot one day and the next, freezing. I had a jacket on so it wasn't that bad and I was holding hands with my beautiful girlfriend of six years. Yes we'd been together since we were eight years old, so what? We were meant to be, I guessed. She had beautiful shoulder length hair that was as bright as the sun with her golden locks. Her eyes were an icy shade of blue that while cold, they could warm your heart.

I smiled softly at the thought of how lucky I was. I was completely smitten for this girl, she could make my butterflies dance around to the beat of my heart as it escalated. She was epitome of perfection and I knew there wasn't another person better than her for me. I'd even gone as far as thinking about how I'd marry her after high school, make a life for her and the children she'd give me. Sighing contentedly, I looked over at her. She looked at me as well with a small smile playing at her lips as well but her eyes said something different. She took a breath.

"Ty, I need to talk to you about something." She spoke gently and I stopped walking to look at her and give my full attention.

"Of course Jen, what is it?" I asked, my tone matching hers with concern. She swallowed and took my other hand.

"We've been together for a while now." She began and I just nodded, urging her to continue. "And we're getting older, we look different now than we did when we were kids. I feel as if we just don't work together anymore. I'm sorry Tyler, but this is for the best." She said with an apologetic smile. I just stood there for a moment.

"Are- are you breaking up with me?" I asked quietly, my eyes stinging with tears but I refused to let them fall.

"Yes, Tyler. But I don't want you to think this was on you, it was me. I wanted this."

"You wanted this because you don't want to be with me. I'm not good enough for you anymore, am I?" I asked quietly and she sighed, almost irritably.

"Thanks Tyler! You always have to make me out to be the bad person! Way to make me feel like shit." She said angrily and I just looked at her with a stunned expression. How could she say and do this? Did she not feel what I felt? After all this time?

"I just don't understand. I thought you were happy." I muttered.

"Well you were too busy trying to please yourself that you didn't stop to think about what I wanted. I'm going to find someone who will make me happy." She said and walked off. I stood there for a while, contemplating if it actually happened or not. But it did, and it hurt like hell, and at that moment, I realized that I was a horrible person.

~

I shook my head at the memory. It had been a few years give or take and Jenna had moved away long ago. It didn't hurt as much anymore because I realized somewhere along the road that I never really loved her. It had just been teenage hormones telling me that I did actually have deep feelings for her, but I learned quickly that I didn't. I toweled myself dry after I stepped out of the shower. I didn't bother looking in the mirror at myself because I knew I'd see something hideous. So I simply slipped my pajamas on and brushed my teeth so I could go straight to bed.