Everlasting Love

The Diaper

Ben POV:

"Is it over yet?" I asked.

"Nope." Carrie said.

"DAMN IT HOW LONG IS BLOOD GOING TO FLOW OUT OF YOU." I freaked.

"For a week according to Chloe." Carrie said.  "But the cramps went away so that's good." She smiled.

"Well good because we have a full day planned. You are going over to Sarah's house and I am going out for a day with the boys." I said.

"Dumping me on Sarah's family, great parenting Ben." Carrie laughed.

"Number 1, I'm not your dad. Number 2, yes I am dumping you on Sarah's family. Get over it. Now let's go." I said. I dropped her off at Sarah's house and was on my way to meet DeMarius when I got a phone call from Chloe. "Hey, what's up?" I asked as I answered the phone.

"Hey, there's an emergency at work and I have to go in but I don't have anybody to watch Allyson. Can you please watch her?" She asked.

"Um..." I said. I know nothing about watching a baby. But how can I say no after everything she has done for me? "Sure! I'll swing by and grab her, I'm out and about anyways." I said.

"You are a lifesaver! Thank you so much!" She said and hung up. Well there goes boys day. I ran down to her apartment and rang the doorbell. "Oh my gosh you are the best!" She said answering the door and handing me the baby.

"Ok there is now a small child in my hands." I said holding out the baby.

"Everything you are going to need is right here in her diaper bag, she just woke up a from nap, thank you so much you're a life saver." She said kissing my cheek and she was out. 

"And now I'm standing alone with a baby." I said. Allyson started to cry and I panicked, not knowing what to do. "Oh no no no please don't do this, please don't cry." My phone started buzzing and DeMarius was calling.

"Dude where are you?" He asked. "And is that a crying baby I here?"

"HELP IM STUCK IN AN APARTMENT ALONE WITH A SMALL CRYING CHILD." I said.

"Why do you have a baby?" DMC asked.

"BECAUSE CARRIE GOT HER PERIOD AND I ONLY HAD A STICKY NOTE PAD BUT CHLOE CAME OVER AND HELPED WITH ALL THE BLOOD AND-" I started.

"Dude, you could write a book about your life." He laughed.

"Yeah nobody would read that." I laughed. "PLEASE COME HELP ME."

"I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT A BABY!" He protested.

"NEITHER DO I BUT IT WONT STOP CRYING." I said.

"OK IM COMING OVER WITH DAN." DeMarius said and hung up.

"Please stop crying." I pleaded as Allyson continued to cry.  "HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT SMELL. THAT MUST BE WHY YOU ARE CRYING." By the time DeMarius and Dan had arrived, the baby was still crying and I was about to.

"Please tell me this isn't your kid." Dan said as they walked in.

"YES I GOT PREGNANT AND HAD A BABY AND DIDNT TELL ANYBODY." I said. "SOMEBODY HELP ME THIS KID SMELLS LIKE SHIT."

"Did you change its diaper?" Dan asked.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THE DIAPERS?" I asked.

"DO I LOOK LIKE A MOM?" Dan asked.

"Wait, she gave me a diaper bag. So I'm assuming it has diaper stuff in it." I said. I handed the baby to DeMarius and ran to get the bag from the kitchen table.

"Oh my gosh I think my nose is nose is gonna burn off." DeMarius said holding his nose.

"Anybody know how to put a diaper on a kid?" I asked holding up one of the diapers. They both just looked at me confused. "Well shit we are screwed."

"Come on, how hard can it be?" Dan said. 20 minutes later we had the diaper on the baby....sort of.

"Well, it only took half a roll of duct tape, 7 paper clips, and a stapler but I think we got it on." I said holding up the baby.

"It doesn't look right." DeMarius said.

"Maybe Eliza can help us." I said grabbing my phone and face timing her.

"Hey B, what's up?" She asked answering my call.

"Hey, did we put this diaper on right?" I asked holding up Allyson to the camera.

"What the hell did you do to that poor child." Eliza laughed.

"It smelled like shit so we put a diaper on it." DeMarius said.

"3 idiots and a baby, what could possibly go wrong." Eliza laughed. "Did you feed her lunch?"

"IT EATS TOO?" I asked.

"Oh my gosh." Eliza said face-palming. "Go in the fridge and get a thing of baby food." She said. I looked in the fridge and saw a can of what looked like mashed up throw up.

"She's supposed to eat this? That's disgusting." I said.

"I promise she will like it." Eliza laughed. We all 3 crowded around her and I opened up the can.

"Here you go sweetie." I said putting some on the spoon and putting it in her mouth.

"See, she likes it." Eliza said through the phone. All of the sudden she spit the peas out of her mouth and onto all 3 of us.

"I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD HATE IT." I protested as Eliza died laughing.

"This is disgusting." DeMarius said wiping some of it off his face.

"Why did I agree to help with this?" Dan asked.

"Well, you 3 have fun! Bye!" Eliza said.

"EL NO!" I screamed and then she hung up.

"All this food in here is disgusting, of course the baby doesn't like it! She needs some real food like Cheetos or a taco." Dan said looking through the fridge.

"I don't think you are supposed to give a baby tacos until like 8 months and this baby is only 7 months." I said.

"Oh! I know! We can go get some chick fil a! Everybody likes chick fil a." DeMarius said.

"She didn't leave anything for me to take the baby out in." I said.

"Ok I'm back! I am so sorry, they just needed me to come down for a little bit and-" Chloe said running in through the doors. "Why are you 3 covered in peas?"

"Is that what they are trying to say this stuff is? Peas? I'll tell you what is is, DISGUSTING." DeMarius said.

"What is up with her diaper." Chloe laughed.

"It's the newest trend in baby diapers." I said. "Come on Chloe, don't you keep up with baby fashion?"

"Did you seriously use duct tape, paper clips, and staples to put this diaper on her?" She laughed holding up Allyson.

"Duh. What, do you not know how to change a diaper?" Dan asked.

"I was literally only gone for an hour." Chloe said. "But thank you." She smiled. "I would hug you but you are covered in baby food." She laughed.

"Yeah, we have to go take a shower." I said. "NOT TOGETHER. SEPARATE. SEPARATE SHOWERS." I said as I watched her eyes widen as she burst into laughter.

"Just go." She laughed.

"I am never having children." I said as we walked out.

"Ditto." DeMarius laughed.