If Only...

Chapter 10: The Tell All

His roommate answered the door, his best mate by the name of Niall, I think.

"Is Louis here?" I immediately asked wondering if he could sense how anxious I was.

"Sorry love, he's just gone out with.. with.. he's just gone out to," he struggled to find words his hand awkwardly scratching the back of his messy bed head.

I knew what this meant. I knew he was trying to hide the fact that Louis was out with another girl. I flashbacked to the elegant brunette I saw when Marcus and I ran into them at Starbucks.

Niall noticed my face fall, "Come in would ya? He ought to be here soon."

My mind demanded to turn on my heels and walk away but my heart was desperate so I followed Niall inside.

"Thanks," I mumbled sitting myself on Louis's cot so adjusted to making myself at home in his dorm.

"Tea?" he asked and I nodded.

"Thank you," I smiled wrapping my hands around the warm mug and clicking my fingernails against the glass.

I was nearly done with my tea when Louis bursted through the door mid laughter with an arm draped around the familiar girl. Her lips were curled up in a grin and her eyes squinted.

Louis instinctively detached himself from her as soon as he laid his eyes on me. I guess then he remembered he no longer belonged to me because the flash of guilt was immediately replaced with triumph and he pulled her closer.

I was mortified and embarrassed.

I shouldn't have come.

"Thanks for returning the disc Lennox," Niall said abnormally emphasizing his words cooing me to catch on.

I gave him a look of complete praise and gratitude before responding, "No problem. Thanks for asking me to stay for tea. Loved the CD."

I stood up and pushed past Louis to get out the door but I heard footsteps following close behind.

"I know you weren't here for that," he shouted.

I bit my bottom lip and raised an eyebrow horribly lying, "Yeah I was. It was The Kooks EP."

"Niall hates The Kooks."

Well, shit.

"Okay so maybe I wasn't there for that," I shrugged it off and started to walk out, "You should get back to your girl person thing," I gestured to the direction that led back to his room scrunching up my nose.

He merely chuckled, "I think she'll be okay with her own cousin in a room with her."

Was Niall hooking Louis up with his own cousin?

I was ashamed that that had been my first thought. I felt like that annoying cliche chick that didn't know how to let go.

"I just wanted to continue the conversation," I said swiftly in the most casual way possible, "you mentioned something by the tree. Will you finish?"

He looked away and chewed the inside of his cheek lost in his own thoughts.

"Drew told me," he said, hurt blossoming into the iris of his cold blue eyes.

My expression was blank, "Told you what?"

He looked defeated and his posture slumped as if he couldn't bare to say the words. Then he grew annoyed, "C'mon Lennox. The least you can do for a lad is own up to it."

My thoughts were clean from comprehension and it made me impatient to know what in the bloody hell he was talking about.

"She told me about last summer. Between you and that camp counselor and how you'd be seeing other guys on the side of me since then," he said so softly I could barely read his lips enough to hear them out.

But when it did and I finally understood what he was saying, my jaw had dropped to the floor and my eyebrows knit so close together, I thought my forehead would collapse.

"I was nothing but faithful to you! What the hell are you talking about!?"

His eyes grew colder and his features darkened with betrayal, "She told me not to bring it up to you. That you would deny it," he shook his head in disappointment and I could feel the rage of red exploding through my whole body.

I felt like a human volcano with a long overdue eruption.

"She's lying, Louis! How could you believe her over me?"

"She was explicit enough Lennox and I put two and two together. Its no coincidence you and that bloke got together measly seconds after our fallout," each word was spat with disgust.

"Measly seconds? I was heartbroken that you dumped me, Louis. He was a friend who aided me in time of need when you decided I was too high school for you."

I swore I wouldn't cry, but I couldn't help the boiling frustration this confusion was causing.

His face was softening, I could tell. His swampy eyes returning to the calm soothing pacific pools I'm used to. His jaw unclenched and his shoulders relaxed.

"You didn't cheat on me?" he asked in a voice so small I didn't even realize it had come from Louis.

"Of course I didn't," I answered allowing one single year drop to fall onto my left cheek as I blinked.

He wasn't going to let me off that easy. His mind was still occupied on betrayal, "Why would your best friend lie about something like that?" he said suspiciously.

"I. Don't. Know. But I will get to the bottom of this one way or another," I could feel the loathe toward Drew spewing with each breath of air I exhaled.

Still confused, I asked, "So is that why you broke up with me? Not because you didn't love me anymore? Not because you didn't want me?"

The pinning needles were still so fresh in the layer of my heart, I couldn't help the urge to truly know.

"I love you Lennox Pennington. That never changed. I thought you were using me. I still love you," his words were gushing into me like molten rock into lava, warming all of my insides.

He kissed either sides of my cheeks and finally his lips lingered on my forehead, "I just need the truth."

"Me too," I added and projected myself on my tiptoes to kiss the bottom of his chin. His neck. And as I folded open his hand, I reached his palm to my lips and hovered a small kiss before closing his hand into a fist and letting it drop to his side.

I felt like a shimmering veil of love was tingling all around me like an aura of happiness.

He still loves me.