If Only...

Chapter 3: Celebration

"May I come in?" I could hear Marcus whisper to the door.

I groaned which he took as an invitation.

I didn't intend for it to be one.

He fiddled with the door for a bit before waltzing inside rushing to my face first cocoon I sunk myself into with bed sheets and pillows warped all around my paralyzed body.

"Ow ou ge in er?" I mumbled through the stack of pillows my lips were closed from.

Understanding me perfectly he clicked his tongue, "I can pick a lock."

I wasn't sure if he meant that to impress me, because it didn't. It actually kind of scared me and made me think twice on whether I should enhance the security to my room.

"Drew told me what happened," he mumbled with a light run of his fingers through my hair.

Irritated I pushed through my little labyrinth and faced him, my hair lifting up from the electricity of my blankets.

I was always one to care about my appearance.

But not today.

I swallowed a lump in my throat and burst into tears. Not even those cute little quiet sniffs with soft tears streaming down my face. Nope, it was a full on sobfest.

Completely caught off guard, Marcus just sat there hugging me and stroking small circles on my back.

"The one time I.." I began before erupting in sobs again. I shook my head violently enraged at how much I let Louis affect me.

I inhaled. I exhaled.

Marcus just watched me bug eyed as I recomposed myself breathing in and breathing out.

I started again, "The one time I let myself fall in love, I get hurt," I looked at my twiddling thumbs scratching off the remainder of my nail polish, "I knew I shouldn't have. I should have got out. I should have stopped before," I paused.

Marcus immediately overcame my break of silence, "It's not bad to fall in love."

"Yes it is," I backfired. It's either cause hurt or get hurt. If you're smart, you hurt someone before they hurt you. Only fools let down their walls.

It's like being in a boxing ring and watching the red glove hurdle closer and closer to you. Do you wait for it to smack you square in the nose or do you block and reinforce a comeback upper cutting the jaw?

Love is a fight. You can get punched or you can score the knockout.

It's also timed. Each round is timed. 10 seconds.. 5 seconds.. 3 seconds.. Each round is bound to end. Just like relationships, just like Louis told me.

Did I really think I could last so long in that ring?

Louis couldn't.

And he sure as hell did knock the breath out of me.

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I guess I had fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes again, the room was darker, dimmed by the windows gleaming of a late evening sky.

"Hi," a voice whispered audibly enough to have me rolling off my bed. And I sure as hell would have fallen if his arms didn't almost instinctively catch me mid-air.

"Marcus why are you still in here?" I hated coming off as I did but I wanted nothing more in this forsaken university than to be left alone. To be sad all by myself and practice not giving a shit when people start hearing of the break up and feel sorry for me.