If Only...

Chapter 16: Almost Perfect

Lennox's P.O.V

I rested my lips on Marcus's forehead wondering what could have made this way.

So constantly in need of being in control and so protective of what was his.

His disparity to get what he wants and never lose.

I whisper to his limp body, eyes lazily blinking and staring back up at me.

He couldn't help who he was, someone made him this way. What others see as an uncontrollable frankenstein was merely a broken boy.

It still wasn't reason enough for to continue this act and continuously hurt others in his path. I can't let emotions get the best of me when I know damn well what Marcus was capable of.

Was I just a pawn in his game after all?

Oh goodness.

Is this what happens to a psychology major?

Now I'm the pyscho playing angel versus devil inside my head. The ever present Angel representing the super-ego (the source of self-censorship), counterbalanced by the Devil representing the the primal, instinctive desires of the individual.

I huffed and mentally cursed Freud.

"Dammit Lennox, who's side are you on?!" I heard Louis plead.

I bit on my bottom lip and was going to get up when Marcus grabbed my wrist.

"I love you so much," his quivering lips whispered, "Please," he added circling his thumb around my palm.

I bent to press another cold kiss on his damp cheek before rising again.

The crowd was scattering away as the climax of the fight had faded and I couldn't have been more thankful.

I reached out for Louis's hand and he flinched away, but the hurt in my eyes was enough to make him return. His brows pinched together in such confusion, it made my heart sink.

I opened up his hand and left a kiss on his palm before closing it into a fist again.

After mouthing an 'I love you' to him, I returned to Marcus.

With mascara making it's way down my cheeks, I lifted him to his feet gripping his waste as he tried to shift the weight as much as possible away from me.

"It's alright, I got you," I mumbled directly in his ear. He held my other hand so tightly it made my knuckles white, but I didn't mind.

Once we reached his dorm, I eased him onto his bed, squeezing onto his single mattress right beside him, gently stroking invisible patterns on his torso.

His arm laced around my body in his usual protective matter and he planted kiss after kiss on my cheeks and neck as I ran a lazy hand through his tousled hair.

It was the perfect moment and looking into his beautiful eyes, the color of deep brown winter trees at twilight...

It almost felt right.