Rebuilding Zerrie

It's OK

"I want you to look at me like the way Zayn looks at Perrie and how Louis looks at Eleanor and how I look at you," he breathed heavily as if he said all that in one breath. His eyes felt like balls of fire, burning burning burning my soul. This wasn't real. This wasn't happening. "Because the truth is, Kloe..."

No. No no no no no. Please don't.

"You have bewitched me, body and soul and I love you," he said the last two words in a whisper, like saying that was a torture to him. Harry was on the verge of tears and I couldn't handle this. He did nothing to deserve this pain and I didn't want to be the one that caused it. I just hoped he'd stop, please stop, talking. "Most ardently."

"No," I shook my head, laughing a bit. "Nope. No, you're not."

"I love you. Because you're you," he went on, making me quite uncomfortable but when he placed his hand on top of mine, I couldn't pull away. I did, though, lean back a bit so his face wouldn't be so close to mine. "You're my life, my voice, my reason to be." He separated the distance I just made and I was so afraid that our lips would touch but he stopped just as his mouth was hovering above mine. "You have stolen every piece of my heart. You don't know you're beautiful. You're my wonderwall."

The whole while he talked, I shook my head and repeatedly tried to stop him. "Harry, don't. Please. No. Stop it, please." My voice sounded terrible, like I was forcing every word to come out even though my throat was dry and cracking.

"But most of all--" Harry tried to finish off.

"Harry, stop it," I croaked as my eyes started tearing up as well as my voice cracked at the last bit.

"You're my Diana."

I then snapped my hand away from under his and stood up. "Stop it, Harry!" I yelled, finally shutting him up. I couldn't stand looking at him like that any longer. Looking so vulnerable and like he was breaking into pieces as he spoke. That was when I noticed the music stopped. They were all staring at me and Harry but I no longer cared. "Don't you see, Harry? That word. The L-word is not something you feel about me."

"It is," he tried to convince himself. "You don't have to be afraid. I know you're stronger than you think you are. Please, just say you love me back."

"No, I can't," I kept talking so he wouldn't make a fool of himself any longer. He was pathetic but I wanted to hold him tight, to say sorry for having put him through all this. I knew it hurt. I knew it was humiliating but I had to let go even if it meant hurting him for my own happiness. "You hate me, Harry. I know you do."

"No, I don't!" He protested, his eyebrows furrowing and he stood up as well. "I love--"

"Listen, Harry!" I shouted, demanding, as I stood up from the bed. The moment I saw Harry's broken face, I immediately felt remorse but I knew it had to be done. "You're not the kind of guy I end up with." His expression seemed as if I'd just punched him in the face, all bruised and red and swollen. "You're the kind of guy I fall for," I paused and closed my eyes to take a breath before killing myself, "Before the guy I end up with."

"But--"

"Give it a rest," I shook my head, my voice lower now that I said what I needed to say. "Harry, I hate you. So much. And if I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me too."

After that, Harry didn't have anything left to say. None of us did, not even the ones idly watching from the dance floor. He took a long, slow and grueling exhale before slapping his hands on his lap. "Fine," he said, ending this completely. "You can leave now." Harry didn't even want to look at me. I didn't know what hurt me more: him looking at me or him not looking at me.