My Mental Health Life Story, Inspired Edition:

My Problem

I still haven't gotten a real, full diagnosis from a mental health professional yet. Also my parents have been totally against the idea that I was truthfully depressed, and not sad. They just believe that I was sad and lazy as to why my first year of college turned out the way it did. But that's not it at all.

"It's important to realize that depression is not a medicalization of normal, human emotion. Depression is a real illness. It is very different from sadness. And skilled clinicians can tell the difference between the two." – Health Line

I've tried 5 times at least talking to them about it. But they always seem to only think about what they believe and refuse to see things differently, preferably from my perspective. But the first time I told them was probably within a week that I got home from college after 1st semester ended. I told them that in the past how times that I open up to them about personal things that matter a lot to me, and they previously always never took me seriously. So that's when I stopped being honest with them.

And that's one of the few symptoms that I was experiences with my mental health. Even throughout my childhood, I remember times when I acted a certain way, and say that I was fine. Yet the night before I cried myself to sleep, and eventually the lying about my wellbeing become a habit. It would always be the same: how are you? I'm fine. But am I really? No, is crying yourself to sleep, faking it, lying about the reason behind the tears seem fine to you? No. It's not fine and it's not healthy either.

I didn't realize that during those moments. I let myself believe that I was actually fine. Not knowing that I wasn't being honest with them but also myself too. It's kind of a scary thing to recognize. Through this time, I also recognized other behaviours and thoughts throughout my life and just responding with "wow, I must be crazy not to notice that" but as a child, you aren't educated on mental health until high school.

Knowing now from being educated on mental health in grade 12, I know a lot more. I learned a bit about mental health in high school but then later started doing research throughout since that day as I had checked off many of the symptoms of depression that I was experiencing.

But what would the picture look like if I wasn't educated at all about mental health? How bad would I be? I wouldn't know that I even had a problem like depression nor even try to ask for help.

But thinking on the positive side, there will be that one day where my parents will be open to talking about mental health overall not just my own but theirs too. And stop believing what they previously believed on what happened and start believing the truth that it was: depression! Getting to this day, would mean the world to me that my parents are more comfortable, open and accepting about the "mental health" subject.

"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them." ~ Einstein