After 3

Chapter 225.

"I'm sorry for waking you up." I whisper to Landon who is still rubbing his eyes.

"It's okay." He mumbles and stumbles back to the bed. "Here, you can have this one, the other is flat." He pushes a fluffy white pillow against my chest.

"This is why I love you, well not the only reason but one of them." I smile, hugging the pillow close and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Because I gave you the best pillow?" He half smiles, his smile is even more adorable when laced with sleep.

"No, because you're always here for me .. and you have soft pillows." My voice is so slow when I'm drunk.. it's odd.

"Is he going to come after you?" He asks quietly. Landon lays back on the bed and moves his body over so that there is plenty of room for me on the other side.

"I don't think so." The moment of humor that came with Landon and his soft pillows has been replaced by the ache that comes along with thought of Hardin and the words we exchanged only moments ago.

I lay down on my side and look up at Landon. "Remember when you said he isn't a lost cause?" I whisper.

"Yeah."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yeah, I do." He pauses, "unless he did something else.."

"No, well nothing new really. I just.. I don't know if I can do it anymore. We keep moving backwards and we shouldn't be. Every single time I think we are moving forward, he becomes that same Hardin I met six months ago. He calls be a selfish bitch or basically tells me he doesn't love me and I know he doesn't mean the words but every syllable crushes me a little more than the last and I think I'm starting to understand that this really is just the way he is. He can't help it but he can't change it either."

Landon watches me with thoughtful eyes before his mouth turns to a frown, "He called you a bitch? Tonight?"

I nod and he sighs heavily, running his hand over his face.

"I was saying hurtful things to him too." I hiccup. The heavy combination of wine and whiskey is going to haunt me tomorrow, I know it.

"He shouldn't call you out of your name, he's a man and you're a woman. It's never okay Tessa, please don't make excuses for him."

"I'm not I just.." That's exactly what I'm doing.

"I think this is all about Seattle, he went from getting a tattoo for me and telling me that he can't live without me to telling me he only chases me because I fuck him. Oh my gosh! I'm sorry!" I cover my face with my hands. I cannot believe I just said that in front of Landon.

"It's okay, you did just fish your underwear out of the hot tub remember?" He grins, lightening the conversation, and I hope that he can't see my humiliated expression in the darkness.

"This trip has been a disaster." I shake my head, pressing it against the cool pillow.

"Maybe not, maybe this is what you two needed."

"To break up?" I ask him.

"No, is that what happened?"

"I don't know,"

"Is that what you want?"

"No but it's what I should want. It's not fair to either of us to keep doing this day in and day out. I'm not innocent here either, I always expect too much from him." My mother's flaws have been passed down to me. She expects too much from everyone too.

"There isn't anything wrong with expecting too much from him, especially when the things that you expect from him are reasonable." Landon replies. "He has to see what he has, you're the best thing that has ever happened to him, he needs to remember that."