As I was sleeping I had a strange dream.
"Hey Tom can you pass me the diapers?" I asked. He tossed one to me and sat down. "How's my baby?" He asked looking down at the beautiful baby girl whose diaper I was in the process of changing. She smiled up at him and waved her tiny fist around. That brought a smile to my face. He grinned and kissed her hand. "Okay she's all yours" I said picking her up. "Here you go" I said handing her to him. He kissed her small nose. "I love you"he said turning to face me and kissing my lips. "I love you too" I replied. I looked around to where I was at. A nursery, decorated yellow with pictures of baby ducks on the wall. Stuffed toys littered the floor, as well as baby bottles. I looked down at my left hand, a shiny ring with a beautiful diamond placed in the middle and two small stones on either side shone on my ring finger. I smiled sweetly." Wanna take a nap?" Tom asked as the little girl squealed and bounced on her little legs. He laughed and picked her up. "Here mommy can put you down for a nap" he said handing her to me. I stood up and walked over to a crib that had light pink sheets and a small bear inside. I gently laid her down. She smiled up at her parents as they smiled down at her with admiration. "She's beautiful" I whispered. "Just like her mama" Tom replied kissing my cheek.
I opened my eyes and looked over at Tom who was still asleep. That was the oddest dream I ever had. But I liked it. For once I actually enjoyed my dream. But I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't a dream, it was a...sign. A sign that when I had a child it would be with Tom and the child would be a girl. She would look just like the one that I dreamed about. Soft dark curls, eyes resembling Toms. A tiny nose and chubby cheeks with red lips. The baby was etched in my memory I always forgot my dreams after a bit but she remained, every time I closed my eyes I would see her face. The dream really had an impact on me. I went into the bathroom and sat down on the edge of the tub. I happened to look at my wrists which were so scarred. Then I thought about the daughter I was more than sure I was going to have. I had a little mini-daydream about her asking me what was on my wrist. I didn't want that. I didn't want to have to come up with some weird explanation as to why my arms had a bunch of marks on them. I had to get better, I had to. If not for me than for the man that loves me, and for my future child. The ending to a 5sos song began to echo in my head. You know it's gonna get better, you know it's gonna get better. I smiled to myself. I walked back out to the bed and got on it. I stared down at Tom who was fast asleep and a smile was visible on his lips. I kissed him and went out to the hallway. I heard crying it sounded like Jax. I went to his room and saw him standing there. "What's wrong?" I asked. "I wanna watch tv" he cried. "Aww okay come here" I said picking him up. I carried him down the stairs and put the tv on. "Frosty!" He shouted as I put frosty the snowman on TV. Moments later the door opened and my dad came back in with Jacqueline. "Hi guys ready to have a fun Christmas?" She asked. "Yay!" Little Jax screamed. My dad gave me a hug. "I love you I just wanted to tell you, I'm so proud to have a beautiful daughter like you" he said. I squeezed him tight. "I love you too dad" I said. "I'll be right back im going to change out of these horrible clothes" he said. "Me too come on Jax" Jacqueline said taking him upstairs. "Er-where's tom?" She asked turning to me. "Sleeping" I replied. "Would you go get him up too?" She said. I nodded and went up the opposite steps. I opened the door to our room. My amazing boyfriend was still fast asleep. I walked over to where he was cuddling a blanket to his face. I caressed his face and kissed his cheek. "Baby wake up" I said softly. He moaned and rolled over. I went to the other side and crawled on the bed. "Tom wake up or we won't have sex for a month" I said looking at him. His left eye popped open. "What?" He asked. I laughed. "I said get up" I replied. He sat up and pulled me to him. "No sex for a month?" He mocked tickling my sides. "I was kidding!" I gasped laughing. "You better because if you did that to me I'd go crazy" he said helping me up. "Come on let's go downstairs they're starting the holiday fun" I said getting off the bed. He laughed. "Hey wait" he said pulling me back into the room. "What?" I asked. "I have to kiss you now because if we go down there I won't be able to kiss you until we go back to bed" he said squeezing my hand. "Okay fine" I said stepping closer to him. He pulled my lips to his. "I love you" he murmured. I don't think I'll ever get used to his lip ring when I kiss him, it's always cold and catches me off guard. "Guys hurry up!" My dad called from downstairs. "Okay come on" I said separating our lips. "Hold on" he pecked my lips 3 more times and then again for 'good luck' as he put it. We went downstairs and the smell of an amazing Christmas dinner filled my nostrils. "Okay I'm gonna go help Jacqueline" I told tom as he went to watch a Christmas movie with Jax. "Okay" he replied. When I walked into the kitchen I saw her grabbing a stocking shaped cookie cutter. "More cookies?" I asked stepping in. She dusted the flour off her hands. "Well you can never have too much cookies on Christmas" she chirped. "Need help?" I offered. She smiled sweetly. "Actually I do, can you peel these potatoes for me?" She asked. "Sure" I replied. I pulled my sleeves up and grabbed some potatoes and began to peel. She started to sing some old and forgotten Christmas song as she opened the oven to slide a tray of cookies in. "Okay, next...oh! The rolls" she said going to the freezer. "Honey?" My dad called from the living room. "Yes?" She said in a sweet voice. "Could you bring some cookies out here?" He asked. "Sweetie do me a favor and take that plate of cookies to your father" she asked. "Sure" I said. I carried the plate out to my dad. "Here you go Jax" I said handing him a snowman. "Thank you" he replied his eyes glued to the Christmasy cartoon. I handed one to Tom who thanked me with a sexy smirk and handed the plate to my dad. "Thank you sweetheart" he said. "You're welcome" I replied.
