Ours

asa

J

"So yun. Hi."

"Hi? Ano ba yun?"

"Yung kay Jenna? Ah wala yun. Kinda like resignation."

"What? Ibig sabihin dito ka na?"

"Yeah. Well, uh, I wanted to talk to you about that. About us."

"Us? Ano namang kinalaman ko dito?"

"You did receive their email right? This concerns you more than me Janella. Alam mo namang kapakanan ko unang inaalala ko."

"Hindi nakakatawa yung joke mo."

"Look, I know na nung umalis ako -" He trailed. Ay wow mukhang naguilty. Good, atleast you're still human pala.

"That was in the past. Yaan na natin." I recited and acted as if it was just another line in a movie. Yes Janella, this is just a show and you're just acting as a girl who got left behind but still wanted him back.

How easy was it to play a part? How easy was it to internalize a character so different from who you really are?

But now, how difficult is it to play a part that is so you, that feels the way you feel, that should be how you are if he wasn't just a jerk.

Because that's who he is.

An effin jerk who had the nerve to release a breath when she finally said those words. Jerk who left her then smiled again because he thought they were doing fine.

He thought she forgived him already.

Jerk.

"So okay lang sayong maging loveteam ulit? And something more?"

Something more? SOME. THING. MORE. How could you even look at me with that stare of yours and a hopeful smile plastered on your handsome face asking me something I would've never thought of even doing?

All I wanted was to kill you the moment I saw you. Because I died the moment you left.

And yet I let you hugged me. And hugged you back.

Because your arms always felt like home, and I lost that for the past few years.

Now I'm digging my own grave. Because I'm pretty sure after this, I'm dead.

"No."

don't look for me
she's already gone
how much should I hurt you
you'll never be my only one