Friends Forever, huh?

Chapter 21 | happiness is less elusive than you think

I can't believe how clueless I've been.  Even when the weather climbed into the high seventies, Cole refused to deviate from his pattern of long sleeves. I should have noticed. I should have confronted him immediately about his odd behavior.

"When did this start?" My voice shakes as I glance at Cole, pain filling my eyes.

He tugs his shirt sleeve back over his wrists, avoiding my eyes, "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me."

"A few years ago," he admits finally. I notice the way he avoids my eyes, almost as if he feels guilty that I know about this, "my parents divorced and then..." He clears his throat, cutting off his sentence, "life happened." He shrugs, going to great lengths to feign nonchalance.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Cole catches my eyes on him and glances at me with bewilderment.

"Like what?"

"Like you actually feel compassion for my pathetic waste of a life."

"Cole!"

I recognize some of the emotion in his voice--the sense of worthlessness, the feeling that no one would miss you if you were gone. He's wrong. Everyone who's made me feel worthless is wrong. Everything that made him feel worthless is wrong.

"You are not pathetic!" I shake my head and stand up, reaching a hand down for him to grab. He looks at it dubiously for a moment before reluctantly allowing me to pull him to his feet.

"We're going out," I tell him, summoning up a smile that I wish would reach my eyes.

Cole shakes his head, "Ashley, I can't."

"You can," I lift my eyes to his, practically begging him to concede. He closes his eyes, searching for the seemingly elusive happiness he used to know.

Eventually, he reluctantly agrees. I smile, genuinely this time. Cole returns a shaky smile and mine grows. It's only a little smile, but it's something other than the pain that makes him look older than his 18 years.

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," I give him a playful smirk, wiggling my eyebrows. My antics coax another smile out of him.

The surprise happens to be movie night at my house. With the idea of taking his mind off of everything, I grab a box of Twinkies and Mulan. Hopefully my plan will be successful and they'll spark happy memories.

Cole tries in vain to hide his smile as he sees the items in my hands. I'm feeling rather proud of myself until my foot catches on the rug and I find myself sprawled on the carpet. Twinkies have flown everywhere...and Cole is sitting on the couch with an amused look on his face.

Suddenly, I can nearly predict his next words.

"Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your family! Dishonor on your cow!"

I was correct. I burst out laughing as he tries to maintain an air of annoyance. He's succeeding far too easily at it, so I prop myself up so that I'm close to his face. "Say that to my face, you limp noodle!" Humor shines in his eyes but he doesn't laugh, his eyes roaming my face instead. I gulp, trying and failing to catch a deep breath.