Friends Forever, huh?

Chapter 19 | the world turned upside down

"Why is he so guilty? I need to know the truth, please?"

Amanda sounds nearly bewildered as she answers, "He blames himself for the divorce."

I nearly drop the phone at her words, stammering out my response, "w-what divorce?"

Another long silence. "He didn't tell you?"

"No..." I say slowly, trying to process her words. As horrible as the news is, everything makes so much more sense: his reluctance to become friends with me, his shaking voice when he brought about the end of a friendship.

I clear my throat, ignoring the tremble in my voice, "C-can I talk to him?"

She sounds bewildered again as she responds, "Honey, he's not living with me anymore."

At this point, I actually do drop the phone, clasping a hand over my mouth to contain my shock. Not only have Cole's parents divorced...but he's no longer living with them.

"Where does he live?" I plead with her for the information, desperate to get to Cole now that I know the reasoning behind his behavior.

She hesitates, "With his uncle. I can give you his address if you'd like."

"Yes please," I say immediately, grabbing a pen to copy down the information she gives me. Ten minutes later, I hang up the phone and sink into a chair, hands covering my face. His parents divorced.

That's why he ran away from me after I told him what happened with Shelby. It had to seem like deja vu in the worst way. However, judging by the sorrow in  Amanda's voice when she talked about her son...she doesn't blame him for the divorce. I agree with her. There's no way Cole could have sparked an argument so potent that it would destroy his parents marriage. No way. This means that Cole's been blaming himself for months. He's been torturing himself for months--maybe years--over something that isn't his fault.

Suddenly, shame sweeps over me like a tidal wave. For two years I've been angry at Cole, yelling at him for not being there...when really he was trying to protect me.

Idiot. He's trying to protect me, but I can't think of the sentiment as sweet. In the attempt to keep me from being hurt, he's increased my pain over missing him. Missing someone is a unique kind of pain--one that isn't easy to sweep away.

The memories of the time Cole and I spent together as children serve as the reason for my smile and my tears. It's difficult seeing someone you once knew like the back of your hand becoming nothing more than a confusing stranger.

He cares about me, that much I know. Cole is infuriatingly hard to read but he can't conceal that much. I know he at least holds a fraction of his former fondness for me. For now, a fraction will be enough. Knowing that he cares for me is enough. The only problem is breaking through his boundaries of stubbornness and guilt to get him to talk to me.

I retrieve my phone, settling onto my bed as I try to craft a text that will merit a response.

❝I need to talk to you.❞

That won't work--it's a text I've sent multiple times over the years, expecting that he'll be curious enough to respond. He never is.

❝I know what happened with your parents. I'm sorry.❞

No...too casual. With the way he's clearly hidden the news about the divorce from me, I probably shouldn't broach the topic over text. I need to track him down and talk to him face to face.

I sigh, placing my phone back on the table. It's 7:30 PM on a Wednesday night and I have a stack of homework that could rival New York's skyscrapers. Okay, that's a small exaggeration, but the thought of doing that amount of overdue homework is enough to give me a migraine. Unfortunately, this homework means that I will not be able to make the expedition to find Cole. A quick conversation with my mother confirms this--I am evidently grounded until I can get my missing homework completed. Once I explain the situation, she becomes a little more sympathetic, informing me that I only have to wait until Friday to look for him.

That's only two more days of school that I need to survive before I can corner my friend and (hopefully) get him to realize the error of his ignoring ways. I haven't come up with much of a plan; I'm just hoping his stubborn nature doesn't rear its ugly head and cause him to insist that he's right. We both know I'm right. Duh.

I put on a pair of headphones and blast my favorite Broadway music to prepare myself for the massive brain workout I am about to undergo.

In conclusion, as I review the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet I have come to realize that I'm just like my country, I'm young scrappy and hungry and I'm not throwing away my shot!

The song ends and I pause, looking back over the beginning of my essay. Ah, the standard problem of writing song lyrics instead of your actual topic. I sigh, erasing my last sentence.

It's a shame, really. I could have easily written a page about Alexander Hamilton. Unfortunately, I have to write about Romeo and Juliet. Still.

In conclusion, as I review the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet I have come to realize that the tragedy could have been prevented. If only Romeo and Juliet had exercised careful communication and had not decided upon their deaths so quickly, their tragic demise could have been prevented.

I grin as I review the paper. That's one down, only about ten more to go.

Getting behind on my schoolwork was only the tip of the iceberg concerning my school problems. With each day that went along, the bullying got worse. Shelby's football henchmen found excuse after excuse to corner me in the halls. They called me names, occasionally aimed a punch here or there; I'm fairly certain my stomach will permanently be black and blue. Besides that, I'm bewildered at their constant insult about my gullibility. It's as if they're attempting to get me to read through the lines. It's as if there's a secret they want me to discover.

But what?

***

I'm gonna be completely frank with the real reason I titled this chapter "the world turned upside down." Yes it is partially because Ashley is completely shocked about the news of Cole's parents being divorced...but mostly it is a nod to the song Yorktown from Hamilton. I'm not even sorry.

I don't have much to say about this chapter, actually. There's some rather large developments in the next chapter so please stick around for that! Writing is currently in progress.

Also--finishing note: I am 18 days away from my month finish date! Updating should continue to be pretty regular as I am definitely planning on completing this on/by August 11th :)

-J