Friends Forever, huh?

Chapter 29 | conceal, dont feel

I pull into the parking lot of Stonewall High and take a deep breath. I have one goal in mind today: to be invisible. After over a year of trying my best to be invisible, I tried to be somebody. It did nothing but make everything worse. The best way to stay safe is to avoid everyone. Talking to Cole will only make Shelby more angry at me. Trying to force my way into a cliche will just make me more left out. I'll be invisible. No one will be forced to feign sympathy for me. No one will have to attempt to bring me into conversations that I'll inevitably ruin. Yes, it's best if they pretend I don't exist.

I bite my lip, realizing that in my thoughts of invisibility I've forgotten Cole. He may have ignored me when he first came back, but I saw his face last night. He's not going to let me keep my distance. He's suspicious of me as I try to lie about the true reason behind my bruises.

I can't tell him why they're abusing me. Yes, partially because I'm fearful that he would confront them. They would promise to stop and break that promise the instant they saw me. However, the real reason I can't tell him is far more painful. They're bullying me because of him. Shelby's jealousy has tripled since he arrived. She blatantly uses Cole in her insults as a way to tear me down. I couldn't bear to see his face if I told him.

Cole's eyes would fill with that guilt he tries so hard to hide. He'd look away from me, trying to keep his lip from quivering--something that happened every time he was upset. And then...he'd go home that night. He wouldn't text me. He wouldn't call. He'd sit in the bathroom and draw a blade across his skin. Knowing Cole, he'd put himself in pain for causing mine. I can't let that happen.

So when Cole comes up to me in the hallway, offering an easy smile that makes my heart ache...I shake my head and turn away. He's back in my life--I've dreamed about this for years. He's my friend again. But thanks to Shelby and her friends, that's ruined. Because I love him, I have to keep my distance. One glance into those warm brown eyes and I could spill all of the secrets I don't want him to know.

Shelby told me once that she wanted to make my high school years miserable. She's doing her job well.

"Ashley!" Cole calls after me, trying to make his way through the horde of people in the hallway, "don't do--"

He's cut off as Shelby grabs a fistful of his shirt and draws him close. She's about to kiss him when he takes a quick step backward. I can see his lips moving, but I have no clue what he's saying. Whatever it is, it can't be good. Shelby is surely going to find a way to blame me for his lack of affection toward her.

Thankfully, I'm able to avoid him for the next few periods. However, when lunch comes around...unfortunately it's going to be a little harder to stay away from him. I can't turn him down if he seeks me out.

As it turns out, Cole isn't the one that seeks me out at lunch. Shelby is. Asher isn't with her, so I'm not sure if I should feel relieved or more scared. Not even bothering to put on a kind façade, she glares at me and jerks her finger toward the hallway behind the cafeteria. I wince but follow her, running a hand through my hair nervously.

"What did you say to him?" She spits, sounding mildly enraged.

"Who?" I play dumb, knowing full well who she's talking about. However, I don't know what I said to Cole to warrant her anger.

"You know who! Today he told me he didn't want to take me to the Winter Ball!" She's angry enough to advance toward me, slapping me in the face. I recoil, caught off guard by the amount of power in her swing. I touch my fingers gingerly to the place where her hand made contact with my face.

"I didn't tell him anything," he just never wanted to go with you in the first place. I don't say the last part out loud, but judging by her face she doesn't believe my words.

"Why would he ask me and then decide not take to take me a few days later?" Shelby glares at me, her arms crossed, "you told him something."

"I. Told. Him. Nothing." I hiss, fed up with her tactics. She's delusional, thinking that I would be foolish enough to go to Cole after that awful experience in detention? No, my ex-best friend should know me better than that. She should know that I would be too terrified of another bullying episode to reveal anything about her.

Shelby narrows her eyes, but doesn't question me further. "Fine. But don't you dare keep talking to him. He's mine."

With that, she huffs and walks away. At least she would have walked away if Cole wasn't opening the door at the same time she tried to. I clamp a hand over my mouth as the door slams into her forehead. Cole's eyes widen, "Oh shoot."

"How dare you! I was-" Shelby stops suddenly when she sees Cole, "oh...it's okay. I wasn't watching where I was going..."

I roll my eyes.

"I-whoa!" Seemingly dizzy, she collapses into Cole's open arms. I say seemingly because I'm fairly certain she's putting on a show. The door didn't hit her that hard.

"I think I need to see the nurse," Shelby rubs her head, wincing, "will you walk me down there?"

Cole's eyes meet mine and I shrug, actually wanting him to go with her. It will be easier than having him confront me. By the way he came out here, clearly looking for me, he's suspicious that Shelby has something to do with my bruises. I don't blame him--she hasn't exactly been subtle. Still, I don't have the energy to concoct another lie, so I'm glad when she half drags him down the hallway. She's complaining about her head and Cole is casting me a look that clearly says save me but I let them go.

***

I feel like the end of this is super anticlimactic I'm sorry. This is kinda a filler chapter but I swear there will be more action in the next one.

So apparently typing 5000+ words in a day makes your fingers kinda sore bc I woke up this morning and my thumb was like throbbing. It's fine now though.

-J