Friends Forever, huh?

Chapter 41 | "drop the act, we're all broken anyway"

It's been a day since Cole spoke to Shelby and she's been acting strange ever since. She hasn't apologized, but she's gone out of her way to stay away from me. When she bumped into me in the hallway, it actually sounded like she murmured a quiet "I'm sorry."

She's missing at lunchtime, but I forget about her quickly as Cole jokes with me and makes all touches of the past pain disappear. It feels so right to be here beside him--like the troubles just melt away when he wraps his arm around me.

However, my curiosity eventually overcomes me and I head to the place I know she's likely to be: the bathroom. It's the one place in the school that is typically empty and good when you want to get away from people.

I pause at the door, wondering if I should enter. Why am I searching out the girl that bullies me and makes me feel worthless.

Well I guess it's like they say...curiosity killed the cat.

That's not exactly an encouraging thought, I realize, as I open the door.

Shelby's slumped against the wall, looking more broken than I've ever seen her look before. My eyes widen at the sight of her. She looks the way I've felt for so many days.

However, I don't go over to her. Not immediately, because with everything within me I'm fighting against the feeling of satisfaction over her pain. That sounds cruel, I know, but she's been the reason I've felt broken for months. Seeing her this way almost feels fair.

Momentarily, I wonder if I can just walk away from Shelby. That would be easier. If I try to talk to her, I'm not certain that kindness will come out simply because I'm not interested in being kind to her. She's been behind too much of my misery for me to want good for her life.

Still, I realize the futility of my thinking. What will ignoring Shelby accomplish? Will it help either of us if I smile at her pain? I sigh, realizing that ignoring and avoiding her will only make everything worse in the long run.

I sit down beside her on the floor and she flinches, "Go ahead. Laugh at me. I'm a disaster now and you have everything I've ever wanted. High school life has to be some kind of cruel joke."

I roll my eyes, willing to extend sympathy but not enough to sympathize with her 'cruel joke' statement. Shelby's been responsible for making too many people's high school experiences a cruel joke.

"Okay, I'm not going to laugh at you. I'm not that cruel," I sigh, the desire to comfort her quite far from my mind, "But you don't get to pull the 'cruel joke' line. You're not nice to people. You're not a victim, you've chosen victims. That's why you're in this situation."

Shelby scowls and leans away, "I don't chose victims."

Really? I shoot her an irritated look, "What do you call me then?"

"You deserved it." However, she doesn't sound like she truly believes her words. Instead, it sounds almost as if she's trying to justify her actions to herself.

"I didn't. You used Cole and Addison as an excuse to make my high school experience miserable."

She doesn't bother to respond, so I continue, "You're a bully, Shelby. You need to stop. Your actions have consequences."

Shelby's eyes narrow, and for a moment in afraid that she's going to hit me. She looks as if she will for a moment, but then she sighs and gives the slightest, most reluctant nod.

"I'm sorry."

But she murmurs it so quietly that I can barely hear it.

"What was that?"