Overlooking The Moonlight Eye

The Not-So-Lovely Santa Claus

When we wake up in the morning, the air conditioning is on full blast and we can hear music playing from downstairs, Christmas music.

"Mum, why?" Alex asks once we've made our way down the steps wearing our flannel pyjama pants and a sweatshirt.

"Well, you were in the hospital for Christmas and they wouldn't even let us have a tree in there. So we're doing it now!" the woman in an ugly sweater, baking cookies in the middle of my kitchen, explains.

"Oh god mum..." he groans looking over at the living room "I can't believe you"

I look over at the disaster that has become my living room, it's like a fucking Christmas unicorn threw up in there. "I guess my only question is, why do you have a rainbow Christmas tree?" No seriously, I can't even lie about this shit. Think about normal, Christian family Christmas decorations, now make it gay. That is my living room right now.

"Because" his dad comes up and claps me on the back, scaring the ever loving shit out of me. Where the hell did he come from? "You are Alex's first real boyfriend. I mean sure, he messed around with guys a lot in high school, but nothing like you"

"Dad!" Alex protests

"We just want you to know we love and support you." his mum kicks in

I however, am still stuck on the 'b' word. When did we agree to start using that? I certainly don't remember, and I'm not the one who lost his memory for months. I was just fine using the word 'together' loosely. But boyfriend? I'm not even sure I'm ready for that.

"Well okay then" Alex says clapping his hands together. He probably decided to take this battle at a different time because he can see the future train wreck coming on and he's trying to stop it. "Let's bake some cookies"

Oh, Alex is so getting it now.

With years and years of experience, I learned how to be subtle. Alex sees the devil, while at the exact same time his mum sees an angel. It's great, really. His mum falls in love with me instantly, with my sugary sweet complements and smooth as honey voice that's too innocent to be naughty. Even though, as I talk to her, I find ways to mess with Alex. Slapping his ass, pressing my hand to his crotch, I even go as far as lick the frosting off his fingers just to see the look on his face.

A lot of pictures were taken too. Us baking cookies, Alex crying because he broke the leg of the gingerbread person, Alex slapping me for laughing, me blowing flour into his face, I think they even caught one of us kissing.

Alex leans against the counter next to me after we finish cleaning, and I take this as an opportunity. I'm very, very good at dirty talk, it's one of my best skill points I'd like to think. I haven't had much practise with male on male dirty talk but now is as good of time as ever to see how it will work out. "I was thinking about giving you a blow job tonight, but then I remembered we had guests. But who knows" that clearly being a lie. I'm still handling the fact that I touched another dudes dick, having my mouth around one isn't something I could fathom right now. But according to the look on Alex's face, he doesn't know that.

"Hey Mrs. Gaskarth!" I say, bouncing away and leaving Alex there like that. "We should all sleep down here tonight" I go on to explain that every Christmas Eve my family and I would sleep by the fire and wait for Santa to come, even when we got older and knew Santa didn't exist we still did it.

"What a great idea, Jack." she smiles "Maybe next year we can have a Barakat-Gaskarth Christmas with both of our families together, sleeping next to the fire."

"Yeah, maybe" I say like I'm not going to flip out "I'll go run up and grab some pillows"

I take off up the stairs without waiting for a reply. Shit. My family. Things are going downhill today real fast. I never thought of Alex and a serious thing, so there was no need to think about what my parents would say. Maybe I wouldn't have to worry about that, we're not really dating; but the thing is, today made me realise how much I actually like Alex. When Mrs. Gaskarth said a family Christmas, I could actually picture it, up until I had the family crisis, but still.

I really don't have time to daunder on my new found feelings for Alex, because my family seems to be a bigger issue according to my head right now. They can't find out about Alex and me, even if we don't end up being a real thing, gay things still happened. I don't know what my parents think of gay people but there's no way I'm taking the risk of being cut off.

I pull open my drawer and start frantically looking through the piles of stuff until I find what I'm looking for: pills. The only problem is that I can't tell the difference between my pills and Alex's pills. Either way they'd calm my anxiety, but Alex specifically told me not to take his medication from him. That was the rule he's most serious on. That and I should only take one of those sedation pills I forgot the name of and for Alex's medication, I'd have to take quite a few to get the effect I'm looking for.

"Okay, seriously Jack, what the fuck was that?" Alex comes bursting in but I pay on attention. I'm trying to get my brain to pull up some information as to what I should take. "Jack, are you even listening to me?"

My hands start shaking and I need to decide before I'm too far over the edge. "Alex" my voice is shakey too. "Alex, I can't tell the difference"

"Jack?" he rushes over to me with concern.

"The pills. The fucking pills" I keep shaking "Why the fuck are your pills in my drawer."

"Here" Alex pick a few from the drawer "These are yours."

I take two from the palm of his hand and swallow them dry then lean against my bed frame and wait for my heavy breathing to die down. The drugs kick in quickly and they pack a mean punch-throwing a sedative power over me- probably because I took two instead of one.

"Alex" I smile with lidded eyes. I can't feel anything but sleepiness and it feels great. "Will you kiss me?"

He laughs the concern staying on his face, but he leans in and presses his lips to mine anyways. "Merry Christmas, Jack"