Paroxysm

Drunk In Love

Loving him was like drinking vodka.
It burned my insides but at least I felt something.
Downing it until I was just floating around in a drunken haze, I guess you could say I was drunk in love.
In the dark, I felt claustrophobic
Between bent knees and bus seats I'd feel you shift next to me.
A blue light seems to flow through you as you straighten your spine
The gentle hum of your laughter as you let out a breathy chuckle.
To me this was a symphony as I pressed your fingertips into me.
I was always waiting for that open door that was your arms. I wanted to put a welcome mat at your feet because it was so easy to call you my home.
You calmed the volcanoes that wanted to abrupt within me.
Tilting my head into the pillow as you ran your fingers through my hair, lips moving together.
All the mountains that rested on my shoulders seemed to tumble down into the ocean.
Flat wrists riding up round hips
Fingertips tracing the thin outline of the lace waistband.
And the teeth marks on my neck, oh how I wish they wouldn't fade.
Your lips always seemed to pull me in again, knowing they'd make me beg
"Baby, please."
As that deep chuckle rolled from your perfect lips like curling tendrils of smoke.
And I got lost in your dreamy eyes, all the dark parts of your soul and then the parts that glittered like silver stardust.
I never thought you'd leave me drowning in such loneliness.
You were always hungry for more.
Sucking me in like a black hole and leaving me stranded in this deep abyss.
Now I'm one of the souls condemned to die up here.
And I try to love myself the way I loved you but it seems like you took all of my love with you.
So here I am, cursing at the stars.
Feeling like the skies are going to collapse in on me.
And I go to sleep, my face soaked in tears. My heart bleeding out passion and pain until it seems I should be empty, but I still have so much to give.
And now I'm still cleaning up the mess that you left of my heart.