Paroxysm

I Can't Breathe

The remnants of your love, I smoked into flames. Rolling in tendrils around my tongue, through the curls of my lips.
Although it didn't work, and I ended up burning myself.
Scorching the insides of my bones and then my lungs.
The love I know you don't care about anymore but it's the love that still suffocates me.
That love, my love.
Although I can't call you that anymore.
There's temples resting on my shoulders, the absence of your presence still weighing me down. Concaving a hole into my chest, although my ateliers are full and bursting out of my lungs it seems I still only have eyes for you.
I always thought you were poetry, but you were the poem I could never finish.
I gave all these words to you
And I get this hurting in return for my soul.
Bleeding my heart out through a dried up pen, always breathing out my love in hurried gasps and pants, and then nothing more than whispering sighs.
It feels horrible being the one who always loved more, and now my hearts burning.
I just never thought you'd be the one who held the lighter, because now I'm melting from the inside
And I wonder if I'll ever be able to feel anything besides this itching pain ever again.
I've always had addictive tendencies but you're the one addiction I haven't been able to quit.
And one of the worst things out of all of this, is all the worlds I've written for you.
And you'll never know it. You never deserved the honor of being loved by a poet.
I could write you a whole new existence, but I'm still trying to figure out how to write your end.

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I feel like this one is kind of terrible and sloppy so I'm sorry about that 😅😅😅😅. I'm trying to make sure I write down everything that goes through my mind and a lot of it is normally sloppy but I want to get into the habit of posting more on here so just bear with me! Thank you to the very few who actually read my stuff✌✌✌