Paroxysm

Lost Astronaut

I am an astronaut in my own heart.
My hands hurt because I've been cutting moons into my wrists , but I'm still trying to make something beautiful out of this blank canvas.
I've got a knot in my heart that's in the shape of their names and it tries to escape from my throat.
I need this mask to breathe, is this the kind of distance I must keep from others? I'm aching all over, bending myself backwards.
Trying to untangle this unfamiliar neck from the line of this cursed gravity. It is dark in this chamber.
I feel so alone in this blank space.
Those names are burned into my throat and I am trying to forget them for the better.
They bring out choked skin and engraved constellations into my arteries and bruised me from the inside out. No oxygen, no room in this endless sky. I am a prisoner of my own mind.