Paroxysm

To Pretend

It's amazing how easy it is for me to pretend.
Becoming incapable of opening up anymore, a flattened out surface.
Yet every flaw I hold is in plain sight -sticking out of me like a jagged piece of glass.
Dragging my rough hands over the sharpened edges of my mind
Bleeding through cracked skin
Burning my brain cells down to nothing more than a scarred remain.
In hopes that I will feel it all again.
Beware of the entity of darkness that lurks within me
I'm too terrified to speak what's on my mind
To simply just be.
But I cannot be me.
I have no legs, no arms, no face, no distinctive features.
No human like characteristics
Nothing that makes me.
But I'll place a head on my grayed out figure.
Picking up the pieces of my broken bones, putting it back together and holding it in with sticks and stones.
A torso with legs to bring you some comfort.
I'll come off as something familiar, to help you ease your pain.
Pouring you a drink from my torn up vein
Bleeding myself out dry until all your colors have returned.
So throw me in a fire
Hold my head under water
Put your lips over mine, don't think about the consequences of my pain.
With my eyes welling up
My very soul quivering.
Because I can already picture my broken heart bleeding in your hands.
But I'll keep quiet
Because I refuse to let you see what goes on in my mind.