Amnesia

N I N E

E S M E

I woke up with Luke still next to me and I grabbed my phone.

'4:12' I groaned and put my phone down.

I turned to face Luke and just looked at his face.

"Luke. Luke." I repeat his name trying to Wake him up.

"Luke" I say dragging his name out.

"What?" he asked groaning.

"You gotta go home. We have school today." I mumble tiredly.

"Oh right." He replies. I watch him slowly get up and I stay laying down.

"Are you going to bed?" he asked stretching.

"Idk if I am awake enough to get to my room." I answer, very quietly.

"I can carry you. I will get Michael after and we will go home." He offers. I shrug and his picks me up bridal style and I make sure I have my phone.

"Luke. Text me when you get home." I say as he lays me down.

"I will." He leaves my room and suddenly I am not tired.

I pull out my phone and scroll through instagram, and make sure it's plugged in.

I looked up Luke's instagram and looked his pictures. There was a picture of me from a few days ago when we were playing video games. I was next to Ash and Michael and it looked like Michael and I were screaming.

I laughed to myself and liked the picture.

Luke and I got extremely close, Ashton and I were close, Michael and I are like siblings. And Calum and I are close.

Considering Ashton and I are siblings we are close, and Michael and I act like siblings.

Luke and I are so close, I tell him everything- except the cutting- and he tells me everything.

From: Blondie
To: Me

Hey I'm home.
4:35 am
From: Me
To: Blondie

Good.
4:35 am

He didn't answer and I turned on music, not to loud tho, and listened to music while I rearranged some things.

From: Ashtooooon
To: Me

Hey You okay? I can hear your music.
5:15 am
From: Me
To: Ashtooooon

I'm fine. I'll turn it down.
5:20 am
From: Ashtooooon
To: Me

It's fine, I was just wondering if you were okay.
5:21 am

I left him on read and got up to shower. I didn't care if it was early. I needed to shower.

I took an extra long one, to just think of everything.

I ended up crying and wanting to hurt mtself, but a knock on the door made me stop.

I acted like I didn't hear it and continued my shower. Once I was finished I wrapped a towel around my waist and went to my room.

I put on the uniform I wore the past 2 days and stared at my wrist.

Everyone's words came back into my mind.

I hated it.

They barely know I exist, Why make my life a living hell?

I scoffed and put all my bracelets in, adding a nirvana one. I grabbed my backpack and my phone, turn off my computer, and go downstairs.

"Good morning Esme" Lauren says as I enter the kitchen.