Amnesia

E L E V E N

E S M E

Some weird things have been going on between Calum and I the past few days.

Luke and Ashton are questioning my feelings for him, along with me. I always got a weird feeling when I was with him.

We hang out a lot more now. The boys, except Ashton, are with me all of school. I still get hate but they stick up for me.

"Esme?" I snapped my head to Luke.

"Ya? Sorry I spaced." I shook my head and looked back at him.

"You okay? We were talking about creating a band."

I nod and they continue. I tried to listen but I couldn't. I was to focused on their facial expressions and everything around me. I zoned out once again while looking at Calum.

He smiled and laughed, the wrinkles by his eyes showing so much. Everything about him made me feel weird.

His smile, the way his eyes light up when he sees the boys, the wrinkles by his eyes when he smiles, all his dimples, his laugh, everything. It's weird and to be honest, it scares me.

...

"Hey Esme." I looked up from my homework to see Calum and Luke.

"Hi." I looked back down and continued my math. I always had a hard time with it so it's takes me a while.

Calum sat like behind me, and wrapped his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.

"Cuddles?" he asks in a child-ish voice. I shook my head and continued working and he stayed in the same position. Luke gave me a weird look and I looked away from him.

"How are you?" Luke randomly asks. I shrug lightly and put aside my math. I put my head on Calum's and looked to Luke.

"Why do people hate me?" Luke looked to Calum as he sat up and neither of them answered. I sighed and laid on the bed. Calum rubbed my arm and I stared at the ceiling.

I could hear the two whispering to each other but I didn't pay attention, I didn't want to know. Luke left and Calum sat there just waiting. I sighed again and he laid beside me.

"Calum. You guys. You don't hate me right?" I ask hesitantly. He shakes his head and hovers over me.

"No we don't. We all need you here. We want you happy." he says, his arms keeping him up. He went on and on about the guys needing me and loving that I'm here. Before he finished he took a deep breath.

"And Esme. I need you. I don't understand what's happening with me, I get this crazy weird feeling when you are around. I don't even know how to explain it. You give me the best feeling and I never want it to end. The other day, when you tried to jump." he stopped, his breath hitched and I felt like crying.

"I was scared. I already told how I felt about it, and I was scared. I did want to run. I wanted to run and find somewhere I could think and cry without People bothering me. I couldn't move though. I didn't want to leave at the same I did. Esme. You are extremely important to me. I am not sure if it's because you are my best friend or something more, but you matter. Don't ever think you don't. Please."

I smiled lightly before I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Calum. Thank you." I muttered. He squeezes me against him and I can hear his unsteady breaths. I don't move I just hold onto him.

For once I felt. Happy. I felt like this is what I needed. Calum cried and I held him and he was wrapped around me. I didn't even care who walked in.

I felt so hungry and tired now.

"Calum. I need food." He laughs and wipes his face.

"You okay now?" I ask wiping a bit he missed.