Beth was in bed, Dad kept a close eye on her. I decided to sit inside. I watched the group outside talk about Randall. Maggie put her hand on my shoulder and I looked over at her.
"Hey" she whispered
"Hey" I answered looking back out the window
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Just a lot going on and I don't know where to go anymore"
"Rick and Lori look fine if that's what you're worried about"
"Is that good news or bad news?" I laugh weakly
"Maybe there's some other guy, better than Rick, that you'll end up liking, and he won't be married"
"Hopefully" I say taking a deep breath and smiled to her
•••
I was sitting on the porch when I was approached by Lori. I knew I couldn't leave.
"Listen. I'm here to say sorry" she says "Rick and I talked and he said he kissed you first. But we're on the same page now, there's nothing to worry about"
I plastered on a fake smile. "Thanks. That's wonderful" I said in the least sarcastic way possible "ok. I'm sorry" i say dropping the act "I like him and I know he's your husband and your children's father and I won't step on your ground. But when our groups part ways, I'm staying and I'll be out of your hair forever"
"That was honest"
"You deserved the truth"
"Thank you" she says putting her hand over mine and nodded at me.
I gave a half smile, it was all I could give out. As she walked away I felt a tear roll down my face and I couldn't stop it. There were no distractions and the longer I thought about crying and trying to stop, the more I cried. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. I buried my head into my knees to try and hide my face. I felt myself shuddering at the amount of tears, my nose becoming stuffy but still runny. I had to breathe out my mouth and that was hard enough with my face so close to my legs. I'd have to show my face soon. I slowly looked up to see if I was good to leave. I saw no one looking or paying attention and dashed into the house and to my room.
•••
After I had calmed down I heard a knock on the door. I didn't answer.
"I know you're in there" I heard Rick through the door and stayed quiet again. "Lori asked me to check in on you"
"This isn't your property. You can't stay" I say
"I'm a cop. No one would take your word over mine" he tried to joke.
"I don't think anyone gives a shit"
"So I can stay"
"Fuck you" I say with a small laugh.
The door slowly opened and Rick poked his head in.
"What?" I ask
"Your face is red. Are you okay?" He asks breaking the light and fun mood.
"I'm okay. Just a lot going on and I needed a good cry anyways. I just didn't want anyone to see me weak. I can't let you guys soften me" I say with a laugh
"You're sad"
"Who isn't?"
"Isabelle"
"Don't pry into my feelings. You'll be leaving soon and it won't matter how I feel"
"We're gonna talk about Randall downstairs if you wanna get your feelings in"
"Yeah" I say standing up, it'd be a distraction.
As we walked into the room, Lori gave us a small smile. I returned it and stood next to Maggie.
"This boy. He's got a group and they ain't lookin to make friends. It isn't safe to keep him here" Daryl says
"So we kill him? Stopping him from something he may never do?" Dale says
"He won't go back after being tied up and beat and say he had a nice time" I say
"What if we keep him as a hostage and have him do work. I can watch him" Maggie suggests
"If anyone watches him, it'll be me" Rick says "let's just see who wants to keep him alive"
"I can tell you it's a small group" Dale says frazzled
"I still want to know"
"Me and Glenn"
"Actually. I'm with Rick on this one, he's not one of us" Glenn says
"You gave me a chance, Andrea, Ana, Isabelle, Carol. They all had chances and they are great to our group" Dale fights
"They weren't a threat" Rick tells him
"If we do this, we're saying there's no hope"
"Maybe he's right" Andrea says
"Just do the right thing" Dale starts to walk out the room "this group is broken" he says as he leaves the house
•••
I watched as Daryl, Rick and Shane dragged Randall's body from the car. He fought against them, fighting for his life. It was dark out now, a bit chilly, I wore a jacket to stay warm. I waited to hear the gunshot after they got to the barn but it never came, instead a scream. I thought it was Randall so I ignored it.
"Help! Help!" I hear someone yell and see Daryl waving his arms out in the field and I run. I run past everyone else and make it to the sight, a dead walker and Dale with all his intestines spilled out. Soon Rick and the others arrive.
"We can't just sit here. Someone help him!" Andrea says
"Can't y'all like, fix him up or somethin?" Daryl asks me
"He wouldn't make it back to the house and even if we did, I don't think we have the supplies" I answer
"She's right" Maggie backs me up
"Well, someone help him. He's in pain!" Andrea cries and no one moved.
"God damn, I'll do it" Daryl says and pushes me a bit to get past me.
I back up from Dale as Daryl draws his gun and points it to Dale. I saw him gasping for breath, he tried to speak but nothing came out. I tried to stay calm and not break down crying.
"Sorry, brother" Daryl says and he shoots Dale.
