Let's set fire to the rain

Breaking down

     It began to rain as I walked home. The weather seemed to be crying for me. I was to numb to cry. Or even feel the rain. I was half way home and soaked to the bone before I realized it was raining. Each step and every motion was like walking through quicksand. Each breath was labored. Light and sound agitated  my senses. My body felt like it was shutting down. I hope it's just shock I thought drearily. By time i reached home I was soaked, tired and sore. Setting the chest down I inspected it for damage. It had a kinda waxy feel to it and the rain had simply rolledoff it. Drying it off I placed it in the corner of my small bedroom and headed for the shower.  Shivering from the cold shower I'd had on the walk home I decided to splurge on a little hot water.   The heated spray slowly returned feeling to my chilled body. Yet it didn't even  begin to touch my numb  heart. Resting my forehead against the shower wall I breathed in and out trying to still my restless mind. It wasn't working. "Ugh!" Slamming my hands against the wall in frustration I pushed myself away from the wall and stepped out of the shower. Roughly Turning the water  off, I grabbed my brush and began yanking it through my hair. Getting dressed I decided to go to the small local boxing gym. Usually when I wanted to just get lost and find an escape I would go somewhere secluded were I could be by myself, put in some head phones and get lost in dancing. When my world seemed to be crashing around me I would turn to music and dance. Nothing compared to the feeling it gave me. I felt fearless,free, weightless, alive. The weight of the world would fall from my shoulders and I could fly! Unfortunately I'd crashed a little over six months ago and cracked my ankle. Even though  I'd got my cast off  it needed physical therapy to be completely healed. Which cost money we didn't have. We were still paying for the emergency room bill when I got the cast put on. I felt bad for putting  more of a financial burden on aunt sue. The injury had left me unable to dance , which had left a hole in my heart as well. As well as not having an out for my hot temper and restless personality. Two months ago id been having a particular bad day at work a customer had suggested I take my frustration out on a punching bag. The day had only gotten worse so I decided to take his suggestion and had looked into the boxing gym I'd passed each day for work. It was owned by and old Vietnam veteran named Hale. He'd kinda taken me under his wing and treated me like his granddaughter. I had great respect for him and appreciated how he put up with me on my worst days and taught me how to deal with my temper the right way. Entering the gym I immediately encountered Hale. "What's up this time Phoenix?" He asked gruffly. " nice to see you too hale" I replied with a small smile. " you and I both know I only see you when your about to explode" good old hale  forgets pleasantries and cuts right to the chase. "Blunt as always I see" I said as I wrapped my hands. " I'll be sure to stop by for a pure social call next time.  we'll drink tea and discuss the local gossip" "don't go getting smart with me young lady. He said waving his finger at me. " now what's wrong? ". " I thought you wanted to have a nice visit for once" I said sarcastically avoiding the subject. " you know what? you want to get a mouth go take it out on that punching bag over there" he said pointing  " I don't need your flippant attitude when I got work to do." Saying this he walked away to help one of the guys who was having trouble sticking his punches. I felt bad for treating hale that way. He cared  more about me than most people and gave me his undivided attention. I always ended up talking to him about my problems anyways. Heading over to the punching bag I  started to stretch to get ready. Despite his words I knew he wasn't actually mad at me. He just knew how to handle me more than most people. He knew I was never ready to talk when I first got there but it was his way of judging how bad off I was and how on hands he needed to be with me. He was also letting me know he was there. Straitening I smirked to myself he also just didn't take sass from anyone. I was lucky to have him to keep me in line I thought reluctantly as I threw a few test punches to warm up. As my vision began to go red I forgot all about hale and just let my fists fly. Hitting it faster and harder I took my frustration out on it hardly feeling the sting in my knuckles. I stopped after twenty minutes completely worn out. With  my hands on my knees I was gulping in air when hale appeared in front of me with a towel and a bottle of water. " you need to stay hydrated girl or your gonna faint" he said gruffly. Ignoring his comment I accepted the water draining it in one go. " thanks hale". " I'd hate to see any guy that tries to mess with you. Those punches you've been throwing would knock a guy out." " don't be over dramatic" I said drying myself off. "When have I aver been dramatic" he said strait faced. Well never  I thought to myself. " now what's got you so upset girl?" It was no use trying to avoid telling him. I would eventually anyways. Might as well get it over with I thought sighing." Hanini and I got in a fight i said. I confronted him asked if he was on drugs and.... Well it didn't go well. He broke up with me" I said looking at the floor. "And your just gonna let him go? " my head snapped up in shock at hales words. "So what ? you two got in a fight. Said some bad stuff. Tempers got heated. And you both did and said stuff you'll regret. If what you say about him being on drugs is true then it's unlikely he'll be the one to fix this. He's in a bad place and maybe can't reach out depending on how doped up he is. I knew Hanini he was a good kid not the kind I thought would do drugs. Something pretty bad musta happened that  made him turn to drugs for oblivion. My advise is if you can you should find out what happened WITHOUT  getting to involved yourself. It could be dangerous" he said sternly wagging his finger at me.  " ... Wow hale I don't think  I've ever heard you say so much."" Really I give you advise and you comment on the length of it? He asked in disbelief. " go on take your smart mouth and get out of here" he said waving his hand behind him as he walked away. " love you too hale" I shouted after him. By time I walked out of the gym it was already dark outside. How did that happen!? Pulling my phone out I checked the time. (8:45) !!!! Crap !! I was supposed to be home at (7:30). Aunt sue wouldn't be happy about me being late without texting her were I was. Adjusting my bag around my shoulders I began racing home. Practically hitting the door when I arrived I checked my time. 12 minutes 13 seconds not bad I thought. Just need to work on my landing. Taking a deep breath I squared my shoulders and pushed the door open slowly. Walking cautiously I scanned the room for aunt sue. "Were have you been young lady!!" I jumped and hit the table beside the door at the sound of her voice. "Gah!!!"  I took several deep breaths trying to calm my racing heart. "You gave me a heart attack aunt sue" " I gave you a heart attack?" She  quietly. " I have you a heart attack?" She repeated. " you gave ME a heart attack when an hour passed and you still didn't respond to my texts." She had texted me? " and then I heard sirens. They may be a common thing around here, but darn it if I don't worry that it's you in trouble EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  Not to mention I go to all the trouble to cook dinner for you and it sits untouched and Ice cold!  Now were have been missy?! ". I honestly wish she would just shout at me. It would be easier. Instead she talked in a normal tone laced with disappointment and anger. You knew she was mad when she gritted out her words but she'd never shouted. "Sorry aunt sue. I was so upset after leaving hanini's I just went to the boxing gym to get my mind off it for a while. I was so out of it I never checked my phone till I left."  She softened a little. " well I'm glad your ok, but text next time. We'll heat your food up and you can tell me what happened." "Thanks sue but I'm so tired I don't think I'm hungry."  "You have to eat girl. I imagine you haven't eaton since this morning and you probably didn't finish that. You need to keep up your strength after a workout like I imagine you had. Now come on". Sighing in defeat I followed aunt sue to the kitchen.  " now what happened?" She asked as soon as we sat down. " I confronted hanini.... Asked him if he was on drugs. Oh so gracefully" I said chuckling humorously.  .... "It didn't go well. At all. He blew up. Destroyed the place. All his art, his work... It's all gone sue.  It was a stranger standing in that room. I didn't see the friend who taught me how to ride a bike or helped me with my math homework. That wasn't the guy that bought me a puppy for my fourteenth birthday and who always patched up my wounds. That stranger stole my friend!" I broke down sobbing. I was crying to much today but I was just so tired. " oh Phoenix" sue  said gathering me in her arms. "I'm so sorry" taking a deep breath after a few minutes I tried to calm down. " he broke up with me sue" I said into her arm before breaking down once more.