Let's set fire to the rain

Allusion

Hanini and I sat in the tree house and simply talked for a few hours. The sun was beginning to set when he finally turned to me with a rueful smile. "I guess I better get you home". " yeah.... I'm supposed to work tomorrow but I may have to call out if my ankle isn't better by then". "I don't think you'll be able to walk on it for a few days. You need to stay off it and rest. As hard as that is for you" he said flashing me a smile that showed his dimple. "I don't know what your talking about" I said trying to look Innocent. " I know you  to well. We both know that". "Shhh" I said shaking my head.  "Come on let's get you home he said chuckling. "Ok let me get my bag." I slung it over my shoulder wondering how I was going to get his journal without him seeing me. I had an idea it was a long shot... But it was all I could come up with. Rather than waiting for Hanini to pick me up , I used my arms to support myself and swung my legs into hanini's lap. Wrapping my one arm around his neck I grabbed the journal with the other and hid it in my bag. "I'm ready" I said grinning. "How am I supposed to stand up with you in my lap?" "You'll find a way" I said cheekily. He mock glared at me not moving. "You love me" I said pecking him on the lips. He sighed before standing up lightning fast. He fake dropped me before catching me. "See that's why u let me get up first" he said lightly. I dug my nails into his shoulders glaring at him. "You love me" he said pecking me on the lips. That little..... Ugh. I hated when he did that. Shifting me onto his back he began climbing down the steps. Reaching the bottom he once again picked me up bridal style. "Aren't I heavy?" I asked as we walked thought the woods. "Not really but I probably should have kept you in my back. It would have been easier to carry you for a long distance". "Do we need to do that then?" "Nah as soon as we get to your bike I'll push you on it". "Through the woods?" "Well we'll figure it out as we go" he said lightheartedly. "How can you act so carefree and lighthearted after what happened to your studio?" A shadow passed over his features. "I'm neither of those things. I'm just trying to get my mind off it by being with you". I instantly regretted bringing it up. arriving at where I left my bike he set me down stretching his muscles. "See told you I was heavy your arms must be like jello". "Your not heavy. Don't talk like that" he said scowling. "Grumpy much? I was kidding". "You  shouldn't even joke. Your perfect to me" he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his forehead against mine. "Your wight doesn't matter. I don't even see it when I like at you. I just see you. The Phoenix I love". He kissed me softly reducing my thought process to mush. I ran my hands through his hair completely forgetting that this was a bad idea. It wasn't till he pulled away that it registered in my brain what he said. Loved?! "You in there?" He said smirking. "Huh". "Come on let's get you home he said helping me on the bike. He had just sent me on a rollercoaster of emotion and I wanted to punch him in the stomach for it. Did I mention I was kinda violent? It took Hanini 20 minutes to pull the bike out of the woods while keeping me upright. Sad part was it was probably only a five minute walk. I checked my phone as we came out of the woods. (8:49) (2 messages from aunt sue). Oh great I did it again. Typing a quick message to sue I told her I'd be home in a minute and sorry for not responding. We went much faster on pavement and within moments had reached the rundown apartments I lived in. "If you leave my bike down here it will get stolen so you better take it up first and come back for me". "Are you gonna be ok?" "You know I will. You'll be back in a minute to so don't worry."  He left knowing I was right. He also knew My bike was my only transportation. So I couldn't afford to lose it. I sat waiting for him trying to ward off a head ache from the confusing events of today. "Whys your aunt seem almost mad at me?" He asked coming back a moment later. "Maybe she was just surprised to see you? You haven't been by in a while." He gave me a strange look but didn't say anything as he picked me up. "You know I should just carry you fireman style. It would be easier" he said fake dropping me again. I will punch you in the gut if you do that again" I said through gritted teeth. He chuckled but didn't do it again. I hit like a man and he knew it. I opened my apartment door knowing he had his hands full. " thank you. I think I'll have to write it in my journal though. You actually being nice" I didn't laugh and joke like I normally would due to my guilty conscious of actually having said journal. "Where do you want me to set you down?" "On the couch is fine". "Nice of you to stop by Hanini" my aunt said coming into the room. "Isn't it time for you to get home though?" "Yes Ma'am " he said ducking his head. "I'll see you later Phoenix" he said kissing me on the forehead.  " ok". "I thought you two broke up?" She said as soon as he was gone. "I thought so too. But apparently he doesn't remember anything he did while on drugs. He doesn't even remember wrecking the garage."  "Do you really think it's a good idea to be with him when he's just going to keep doing drugs? He won't stop Phoenix not even for you. He needs help and he's not going to get it with you trying to pretend he's ok on the rare days he's clean! Just do you can hold onto a relationship that deteriorated the day he first took a drag!" The head ache I was trying to ward off earlier was here to stay as my breathing began coming fast. "Can you blame me?" I asked quietly. "I don't know how to handle this. I don't think telling him all he was doing was going to help him in that moment. Plus I was in shock." I know it's hard but this needs nipped before its to late" "I think I'm just going to go to bed". I grabbed the crutches either sue or Hanini had placed by the couch and hobbled to my bedroom. I sat down on my head feeling numb even my headache a distant throb. I pulled his journal out of my purse deciding I was going to read it in hope of finding answers. With shaking hands I opened it to the first page praying for help to get though whatever I would find.