Let's set fire to the rain

Reality

Hanini's pov

A loud ringing somehow pierced through the fog surrounding my brain. I sat up managing to hit my head on bed frame. Wait, why was I on the floor? I looked up, The room light blinding me. Yelping, I stood up wobbling a little. Rinnnnnnggggg!! Right phone. I began sifting through the trash and clothes trying  to find the small elusive object. How could it be this hard?! All you had to do was follow the obnoxious sound right? Just as I though I might find it the ringing stopped. Seriously?! I ran a hand through my hair only to realize it was greasy. Might as well take a shower. Before I could move the phone started ringing again. It hadn't been ten seconds. Shoot! only mom called like that. I began searching for it again with renewed vigor. I found it under the bed right before it stopped ringing. "Hello?" I said way out of breath. "Hanini Anderson! Where have you been I've been calling you for ten minutes!" I cringed hearing my mother's exasperated tone. At least she wasn't angry yet. She was scary when she was angry. "Sorry ma, I was asleep." There was a unsettling pause. " at five in the evening?" "Oh. .. um... I was .... working on something all night and didn't get to bed till like...10am." "I don't believe you hanini. Your lying to me." "No I'm not! Why would I lie to you?" "I don't know you tell me. You are though. You've always been an obvious liar". Guilt washed over me. She wasn't even mad just sounded hurt. "Anyways, I just wanted to call and tell you I'm on my way home from the conference." "Ok ma. I'll have the house clean for you and a meal ready." "Thank you son. I look forward to seeing you.  I love you. Do you know that?" "I love you to ma". "Ok well I'll see you soon. Oh and hanini?" "Yes?" "We need to talk when I get home". "Ok" I said nervously. "See you soon". She hung up before I could respond. Great she suspected something. What was I going to do? She didn't deserve this. The only reason she hadn't found out yet was because she worked so much. Work required her to travel a lot due to her field of expertise. It made it easier for me to get away with my mess though. I couldn't see an end to what I got into but I would at least make sure she had a clean house and good meal to come home to. I looked around at the mess in my room. Dang this place was a pig stye. I must have gone on a binge.... how long had it been? I looked at the phone, oh shoot four days!!! I checked messages to see if anyone had noticed my absence. (4messages from ma) (1 message from Kyle) (12 messages from Phoenix) whelp, I'm dead. I opened the ones from Phoenix, something tickling in the back of my brain.

~hey~
~ what are you doing?~
~Hanini?~
~ are you ok?~
~ is your phone dead?~
~ come on charge your phone already~
~ please tell me your ok~
~ hanini what's going on?~
~ please tell me this isn't what I think it is ~
~ that's it I'm coming by~
~ dear hanini.       I came by your house today. Do you know what I found? Your house a wreck and you with a needle in your arm. I tried to wake you up. The best I got out of you was asking me to not be so loud. I've tried to turn a blind eye for so long. To long. I didn't want to see what you where doing. It broke my heart and I couldn't understand why you would be on drugs. But I had been cowardly. I remained silent knowing  what you were doing hoping  it would go away.  It didn't and now your a wreck. I tried to be there for you, to help you. But I can't do it anymore. I broke up with you that day but I doubt you remember. So I'm sending you this text to remind you. I'm sorry it has to be this way. It's just... I can't anymore. Maybe after a while we can be friends. It's just.... I don't know I need time.  I'm sorry. ~ 

Any energy I had drained out of my body. She left me? What?! I couldn't lose her! You stupid idiot you did this! How could I have thought it was possible to destroy myself without hurting my mother and Phoenix? You knew but you only thought of yourself, a voice said in the back of my head. I clawed at my scalp, desperate for the pain to go away. I wanted nothing more than to not exist in that Moment. Like the pitiful animal I was I crawled to the source of my pain. Drugs. Looking where I usually kept it I found it empty. No! No! No! No! I need it!! I threw clothes around aimlessly even shoving though all the empty food boxes hoping to find something. Anything. A loud knock sounded at my door. They needed to go away. I didn't have time for them. I had to find my pills.  I'd even except weed at this point. I just needed something! The person continued to knock threatening to practically break down the door. "Go away!!" I yelled. "Treasure chest" the person on the other side responded. Wait... the code word for a delivery. I opened the door eagerly only to be met with the last person I wanted to see.          Daren.