Let's set fire to the rain

Tree house

I stood frozen , my eyes glued to the book in my trembling hands. I knew he used to write in a journal when he was younger to help deal with the emotions he couldn't  express with paint. He'd stopped for awhile but had taken it back up when his father died. It was his personal property but the answers to his behavior could be found within the pages of this book. I was conflicted. One part of me was desperate for answers but the other was scared of what I'd find. I needed to think. Placing the book in my bag I put on shoes and snuck out the window. We were on the third floor, but I'd done this multiple times. founding the drain pipe easily I slid to the ground. Taking off at a run I headed for the spot I  went when I wanted to be alone. Arriving at the edge of the woods I pulled out a flashlight and walked more carefully. After 15 minutes I arrived at a clearing. It wasn't much. Just a little nook surrounded by trees on all sides. hanini and I had built a small tree house here in addition to finding some logs and dragging them under the trees to sit on. We'd made it a cozy little place. A place we could relax. Sighing I felt the tension drain from my body. I hadn't been here in forever, I'd missed it. Climbing up to the tree house I sat huddled in the corner on a beanbag. They were hanini's from when he was 11 or 12. He'd said  they'd be of better use at the tree house but I knew he did it because a friend at the time had said they were for babies. They'd disappeared from his room the next day. This tree house held a lot of memories. We'd told most of our secrets here. As well as had our first big argument. We'd fought , laughed , cried ,kissed , danced , hugged , glared , and loved in this little home. I'd never thought of it as that but I guess that's what it was for us. It was a place to get away for us. A place to find peace ,relaxation ,comfort. A place to cry when you didn't want any one else to see. A place you could be yourself without fear. It had been this and more for us when we were together as well as individually.  My heart felt tight thinking of it. How had life come to this?  Childhood hadn't been easy but it always seemed like life would be better the next day. Adulthood was so hard sometimes. It could just drag you down suck the air out of your lungs and dry the hope up  like a crumpled leaf till someone came and stepped on it and then the wind carried away the pieces. I laid my head against the wall feeling drained. I just didn't know what to do. It felt like life was against me. Knocking me down at every turn. First it had taken my parent when I was young. Then it had taken dancing from me. My one passion. Now it had taken my best friend, the person that was always there. The one that held me up loved me the way I was and said he'd never leave me. But here he was, gone. He hadn't kept his word very well. He'd gotten lost in himself and left me behind. I banged my head against the wall in frustration, groaning and wishing I was like other girls and would just cry and get it over with. It wasn't fair! I kicked my feet as My hands clenched. I couldn't  handle this! I ground my teeth as my nails bit into my palms. I'm sure I looked like I was throwing a tantrum but I'd probably just kick anyone who pointed that out right now. Half groaning half screaming I threw the beanbag against the opposite wall before falling to my knees spent. My rage had left as quickly as it came. It had done that ever sense I was little. I never knew how to control my temper. It had gotten me in trouble at school a lot. But I was done with school  now and didn't have to worry about it. Sighing I laid my head on the beanbag a single tear running down my face. Now it comes I thought blearily before falling into a fitful sleep.