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Chapter Nine

We ended up just going home and sleeping for three more hours.

When I finally woke up from my nap/coma, I laid in bed just thinking about the events in the past twenty four hours. My headache had died down after I popped two Advil before conking out but I still had a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I couldn't get rid of. It was like a rock was nestled in the lining of my gut and it was content to stay there for the rest of my life.

I stared at the ceiling and around my pitiful room. The bright white walls threatened to kick-start a new headache, so I kicked my feet over my bed that was far too large for one person and put on some pants, leaving me in a ratty Indiana University sweatshirt.

I grabbed the keys to Britt's car and peeked into Reagan's room, letting out a little breath of relief to find her still sleeping. Then I put my hair in a bun and walked out to the car.

I followed Britt's Garmin to the nearest Target. Shopping was a kind of therapy to me and I needed to put something on those God forsaken walls before I went insane.

Grabbing a cart, I stared around the store intimidated. This Target was so much bigger than the one back home, holy shit. It ended up taking three people to finally point me in the direction of the home furnishings before I got there.

I went down the aisles, grabbing random things as I went along. A furry lamp. A black and white poster of a subway map of NYC. A teal bathmat. I wasn't even really paying attention to what I was putting in the cart.

I spent about an hour in Target before narrowing down the random items in my cart to things that were actually color coordinated, and the color seemed to be baby blue.

What was left in the cart was a water bottle, a fuzzy lamp and a kitchen towel. I groaned and shoved the items on a random shelf. I needed to focus, but it was really hard to do with a killer migraine and an empty stomach. I hadn't eaten breakfast and it was nearing two o' clock.

I circled back around to the home department and really decided to find something useful. I picked up a white, fluffy comforter set before putting it back. Me and white things usually wasn't a good combination. I did my makeup on my bed and ate a lot, too.

I finally decided with a bluish, silvery satin comforter set that was on sale. Then, after adding in some throw pillows and a shiny, threaded blanket, I made my way down the next aisle. I picked up a vintage, silver framed mirror that looked slightly tarnished and I stood there debating if it was supposed to look that way or not for five minutes before chucking it into the cart.

I packed the cart with miscellaneous, semi-useful items. A modern looking lamp. A picture frame. A white canvas with a ginormous black flower on it.

After checking out, I loaded the stuff in the car. And I just sat. I was still exhausted. Finally, I started the car, swinging by McDonald's before heading back to the apartment, Britt's GPS squawking at me the whole way.

When I got back, Reagan was awake and curled up in a ball on the couch, eyes fixed on the TV. SpongeBob was flashing across the screen and she was holding a bowl of cereal.

"Morning." I mumbled teasingly.

Reagan looked up. "Yeah."

I threw the bag on the table and sat next to her on the couch. "Are you okay?"

A small sigh escaped her mouth. "I don't know, Sav. What was with me last night?"

"You were heavily intoxicated and slightly sedated, that's what was with you. Are you honestly beating yourself up over what happened?"

She gave me a look. "Of course I am, Savanna. I don't want to be seen as that kind of girl. I'm embarrassed, so embarrassed. I looked like an idiot. I looked like a loser. Those boys probably thought terribly of me. They probably still do."