you guys know how this works! for @PeacefulAngels!!
comments in bold :p
Name: Foxbreeze
Nice, not too unrealistic, works with his appearance!
Gender: Male
Okay!
Clan: Windclan
Glad it's not ThunderClan xD (WindClan is my favorite, by the way)
Rank: Warrior
Perfect!
Personality: Sly, loyal, Smart, Compassionate, A bit rude, Sassy, Friendly, He has a fiery temper and has a bad habit of tricking people to do what he wants. He can be very dangerous when he is angry. It's like has he has two separate personalities. One is kind, The other is Cold.
Hmm... by the description it doesn't really sound like he has two personalities? the first part works pretty well, actually. I like the bipolar concept but I'd suggest describing his other personality.
Appearance: Dark Orange Tabby Tom with a tiny bit of black on his ear tip. He has a scar running down his face and He has dark Amber eyes.
Works well, fits with his name, etc. Nothing to change.
Backstory: Like every normal cat, They grew up to be a warrior. His sister died when he was a kit, But he barely remembers her. He once wandered outside the border as an apprentice and accidentally started a small battle, Which ended up with him getting attacked by quite a few older cats. He fought off one, But he had to get help when two more came at him. One of the cats scratched him down his face and that's where the scar came from.
Nice! Simple, descriptive, and absolutely perfect!!
Mate: He doesn't have one. Yet.
;))))
Family: His father, ThunderLeap, was killed in a battle with Thunderclan when he was still a kit. He has one brother and one (Deceased) sister. His mother's name is Deerlight and his brother's name is Firepelt.
Wait, Thunderleap?
Huh. Um, that doesn't really work, I'd suggest something else like Lightningleap. Everything else is okay, but his whole family dying's a bit overused. I'm glad you kept his brother alive.
His mother went crazy soon after his sister's and his father's passing and she drowned herself.
Makes sense,
So! All in all, I really like Foxbreeze, especially his backstory. The only things I'd change is maybe adding some more to his personality and that's it!
Final score:
Foxbreeze gets a 7.6/10!
yayyy only like seven more to go!
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How to Make a Warrior Cat OC
Non-FictionAs the title says, this is a guide to how to make a good warrior cat OC, or, original character! I've seen some pretty cringe-worthy characters out there, and so I thought someone might find this helpful. If you want advice on names, backstory, or a...
