How to Make a Warrior Cat OC

OC Review: Shallowsong

aaaaahhhhh i am swamped in these this book has gotten popular oh my 

anyway here you go AnimeFreakCalifornia! comments are in bold.

Name: Shallowsong ((Her mother named her after a drought the Clan was experiencing and her mother thought it was a good reminder for the Clan that they are strong.))

Hmm... I think it's good that you named her after something relevant at her birth, though Shallow isn't really valid. It's close to canon, and passes the naming rules, but if you want to change it Hollow is a good replacement. One more thing; I don't really see how Shallow relates to the drought. Or maybe that's because it's 2 am here. So, it gets a low pass, as song is pretty nice and fits her well. 

Gender: She-cat

No comment. Though I've seen a LOT more she-cat OCs than toms. 

Clan: RiverClan ((She doesn't affect anything in the story line))

All good! RiverClan is one of the lesser-used clans so that's nice. And thank you for not placing her in canon times. 

Rank: Warrior

No comment! I hope she's a good warrior!

Looks: Light grey tabby with darker stripes and a white underbelly with blue eyes

The tabby is fine, genetically and cliche-wise, and I quite like it. The underbelly is a good touch, but the blue eyes aren't possible. If you added more whitespotting it would be fine, though. 

Personality: She is normally laid back when you first meet her, but she will get more lively and vibrant once you get to know her better. She is also a hard worker. She's strong, but she is very sensitive. Her main flaw is being sensitive and she has a hard time of letting things go, making it a problem when she finds something on a hunting patrol and she instantly becomes infatuated in it.

Nice! I think it's overall a great personality with balanced flaws and a realistic feel. The only thing I would change is to maybe add more depth? Like does she know that she has a hard time letting stuff go and does she try and fix it? For instance, how does she react when someone offends her? Does she cover it up and pretend she's not sensitive?

Backstory: She was born when RiverClan was experiencing a drought, so many didn't think she'd survive. But her mother named her Shallowkit to have the Clan remind them that they can get through tough times. She had a hard time learning to swim, meaning she never really knew how to hunt or fight well. Thus, she was picked on for it. But, eventually, she started working harder and finally learned to swim. She doesn't get picked on anymore for it, but some cats still think she's weird.

A drought is a great setting, because it's underused and adds a lot of tension and action. I already commented on the name, but now I start to see how it relates. I think backstory-inspired names and great because they're unique and realistic (mostly). Having a hard time learning to swim would be normal in a drought, which I like, and how she overcame the teasing is a nice touch. I also love how it affects the personality. 

Mate's Info: No mate

Yay! No mate!

Family Info: Her mother was named Gorgepelt and her father was named Ripplestream. They are both deceased and she was an only kit.

So, it fits with the drought, but having both parents die and having no siblings is kinda cliche. I think if you made one parent survive it would be a bit more realistic and interesting.

Okay! So, all in all, Shallowsong is a well-made OC that just needs a slight bit of refining! For instance: maybe edit the name, clear up her family situation, and deepen her personality! And that's it. Thank you! Also, I was a bit more harsh this time because I could hardly find any fault xD

Final rating: 8.5/10!

(a/n) only like 5 more to go!! i added a rating system, should i keep it? and what chapter should be next?

-drift