30. Wounded past memories.

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"Why can't you be happy with me?"

—Happy with Me by Holly Child

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[ N A S H ]

Pinch me if I am dreaming, which I think I am, otherwise, I don't think Max would be in my house right now. My breathing quickly picks up pace, causing me to break into one of my little fits.

"Master Collins? Should I get your inhaler? It's been ages since you last used it." The old man says but I hold up a hand for him to realise that I don't need it.

Inhalers are for kids. I'm a freaking 18 year old teen now.

"No." I pant, closing my eyes. I try to stablise myself. "It's okay." I tell him and sit down again on the bed.

I don't want to see Max but at the same time, I want to see him. It's like I want to hug him and be his best friend again but I don't..

"Very well, sir." He says in a professional way, "Mr. Anderson is waiting down in the living room for you then. He seemed...frantic. Didn't even sit down when I told him to."

I get a sudden mini panic attack. Max was frantic? He used to have these panic attacks when we were little and that moment was when he took my hand in his and I used to calm him down. Now that we weren't friends anymore, he mustn't have had anyone to tell him that it was okay.

"Ten! Ready or not! Here I come!" I yelled and ran across the green lush garden. I tip toed my way quietly through the garden until I spotted Leah.

"I found you Leah! You don't even know how to hide!" I jump at her from behind, causing her to lose her balance. She immediately fell down and so did I. Laughing, she got up and gave me a hand which I gladly accepted.

"You can't blame me! Where else is a nine year old supposed to hide?" She pouts. I reach for her hair and sooth our the creases, removing the grass that was stuck in her hair.

"Well, definitely not behind a tree. That is just so obvious!" I laugh. "Okay, now I have to find Max. I'm sure he's hid himself in a nice spot unlike you." I look at Leah who's behind me.

"Okay fine. I'll help you, even if it counts as cheating. I'll go look upstairs, you check the living room." She tells me and climbs up the stairs.

"Okay." I whisper and tip toe my way into the living room. I'm sure Max is in here somewhere. He's too lazy to climb the stairs and hide there so I'm guessing, he's in here somewhere.

"Oh Max, I know you're somewhere in here!" I sing and hear a voice. "Ha!" I laugh and jump behind the couch, only to see Max panicking. His lips were shaking and so were his hands. I immediately knew what this was -- he was having another panic attack.

"Max! It's okay. I'm here. Leah is here, Gregory is here. Don't panic. You're okay." I tell him and hug my best friend. He looked like a small frightened baby who had just seen a ghost.

"No, Nash." His breathing hitches, "I think something bad is going to happen. I just know it." His hands won't stop trembling.

"No Max. It's just your mind playing games with you. Everything is fine." I tell him again, hoping that he'll calm down.

He frantically shakes his head and doesn't stop for a few minutes. I knew Max had panic attacks but never this severe. He would usually calm down after a few minutes but this time he wasn't calming down.

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