The Two Volunteers: Unplanned

Chapter Fourteen

"Are you ready Prim?" I ask her. She nods. I feel bad about keeping this from here. In order for everything to run smoothly neither her or Peeta can know about the plans to get them and remaining Victors out of the arena. Although I truly want to calm them by letting them know they only need to survive three days. But I am also nervous because it is possibly that they don't make it until day three. And if they die before that day I don't know how I will feel, knowing they could have gotten out. 

Right now we are in her room, she has just changed out of her opening ceremonies costume made by Cinna. They had to get my approval on it though, because the prep team had too much dark make up in mind. Her costume, along with Peeta, was a black but rocky looking outfit, Prim's was a dress. Then about halfway down the they lit up, which looked like coals softly glowing after hours of burning. It was a direct message that I can see now in light of what Haymitch has said, that I may not be in the Games but my fire lives. 

I lead Prim and we walk down the hallway to the sitting area where everyone is watching the Chariots pull out. I sit with her, next to Peeta as well. I know how nervous he is for the next few days and I wish I could tell him as well because I know it would ease the nerves and maybe make him feel more confident in out lasting the others. But just like Prim, this will go more smoothly if he doesn't know. 

I can feel, on the right side of my arm someone's fingers slowly moving down towards my hand. His fingers interlock with mine and when I look at him his eyes are already trained on me. I feel a rush at his gesture and allow it. It helps me and if it didn't help him he wouldn't have done it. I barely nod and look away from him, but I lay my head on his shoulder. It feels nice, it feels comfortable, it feels normal. 

We watch what we just watched a few hours ago, only this time on a screen and not in real life. They were instructed not to smile nor wave, to look forwards with a straight face as if they were above it all. And Cinna obviously made sure they remembered to keep their chin up. And sometime during the president addressing the nation I feel myself falling asleep. It's been a long day, its been confusing and there has been a lot of information that I quickly am taken under. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel myself waking up, I had a nightmare but I don't wake with such a start as I usually do. I look around to see Peeta sleeping, the lights dimmed, everyone else gone, and my hand still in his. I remove it right away and rub my eyes. It has only been about 2 hours, it's only midnight, but I know I won't sleep again. So I stand from the couch and walk into the kitchen, looking for a glass of water when I notice something. A rather large bottle of spirits, looks like wine to me. Maybe a drink or two won't hurt. 

So I take a glass and pour a rather large amount in. I tip the glass back and drink, it burns going down but I can already feel the buzz. Right around the time I am pouring the second glass I hear the door open. Peeta stands there in his white shirt and black sweatpants, what he was in earlier and what he fell asleep in. He looks at me with shock, trying to figure out the scene in front of him. 

"What are you doing?" He asks and rushes to me, taking the glass from my hand. He sets it down away from me and now has to fight me for the bottle. I hold on tight, knowing this can be my mini escape from reality. "Katniss, let it go." He says forcefully. 

"No!" I say back. 

"This isn't going to help you, give me the bottle now." 

"You do not understand, just let me have it!" He grabs my hand and is able to easily release my grip from the bottle, letting it drop on the floor and shatter. The sound echoes in my ears and I grow angry. I shove him out of the way and leave, but I can't see straight. He reaches me and turns me around. 

"Why would you think that is a good idea?" He asks me, a little more calm now that I don't have a drink. 

"Because, I don't know! I just needed to escape it for awhile. I don't expect you to know what I am talking about because you don't know what I have seen. Or what I have done and you don't know how it feels to know you have killed people. I needed to do something to feel good about myself." He takes this in for a moment, and I don't think anything he says will have an effect on me because he doesn't know. 

"Do something different, not drink. Don't go down that road." 

"What should I do?" I cross my arms but I feel slightly dizzy. 

"I want you to remember all the thing that you are, not all the things that you have done. Because you are far more than your past I promise you." 

"What am I? Because I see a self fish, hostile murderer." 

"I don't. I see an intelligent, and strong girl. I see someone who has a loving caring heart that has been covered by the Capitol with a plan to destroy her, but she stands taller than that. She has a love for her family, especially her sister, and her friends. She has a love for this beautiful green earth and a determination to keep those people close to her safe. I see someone who's beauty shines far brighter than any star, and a personality that keeps me wondering, but also keeps me around. You are far more than what the Capitol has tried to make you, don't let them change you." 

Even in the state I am, and even in my stubborn denial to accept what he believes, I cannot. I has no choice but to take in what he says and even consider taking his advice. But I don't answer him, all I do is stand there. He takes my arm, and slowly leads me down the hallway. At the last door, he turns the nod and walks me to my bed.

I lay down, but I don't let him leave. 

"Don't go." I say quietly. 

"I can't stay here Katniss, I have to go to my room." But I cannot stand to be alone. 

"If you go back, I'm going to." He sighs. He knows I won't let him leave and he knows I will follow him because that's just the kind of person I am. 

"Alright." He walks around to the other side of the bed and lays down. I turn to face him as he pulls the covers back over him. He looks at me and reaches over to move hair out of my face. "This is the only night I'm doing this." 

"Whatever." I slur. The last thing I hear before I go back to sleep is the sound of his soft laughs. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am so sorry for no updates. School, work, church, babysitting, and a million other things have taken my time up. So I'm sorry the late update, and I am sorry it is so short.