A Careless Man

twenty two

Strangely enough, his house felt different. Although Charlotte was almost never home, her presences was always somewhat known. Her clothes filled the closet, her favorite snacks sat still on the pantry, her soft pillows were what he laid his head on. Now all of that was gone. And as Harry laid in bed he wasn't sure how to feel.

Eight years of his life, had vanished with her cotton towels, and the decorative duvets. The vows, dress, home, kisses. Was it all significant? Was any of this?

His thoughts were jumbled, no longer laid out in order. The bed felt too soft, the air to cold.

It was hard for Harry to feel remorseful, let alone regretful. Those emotions had never laid eggs in his heart. His soul was kind and caring, but never empathetic. He seemed to contradicted himself internally. It was battle he refused to face.

Harry slipped from his bed and walked down the stairs. The fire she sat at just weeks ago was burnt, ashes covered the wooden step. His bottom floor was dark, but since the sun just set, their was still a small glow of light.

"I'm texting you again, because I'm tired of your voicemail. This type of stuff... not getting what I want... it's new for me, and I'm not sure what to do... That's also really new for me. My house is really empty and I can't stop thinking of all the things we did together, and she and I did together, and all the bad things I did with many of people to spite her. In the span of a few months I'm a different person and I don't expect you to understand, I don't. I don't know if I've changed, or if this is my true self, but I am really lost right now, and I'm sorry, but then again how much do those words really mean? I also know you won't answer back, and I guess that's okay. I deserve to be by myself for now. Who would of thought one day I'd be a mess?"

He couldn't stop reading over his words, letting his thumb hover over the send button. Would Anna even open his message? Has Niall even cared to check his phone? The words fit so perfectly for both of them, and he meant it all the same.

Harry felt it was wrong though, to send the message to both of them. Despite him meaning the words he typed out, only one could receive it.

Harry had a bad habit of killing two birds with one stone. He was never good at facing all his tasks at hand. It was how he tricked himself into believing his life wasn't overwhelming. And maybe that was the part of himself he needed to change.

Harry went to the contact bar and typed in the name. He could fix all of this, but one step at a time. No more easy way out, and short cuts to push the mess aside. Cold water slid from the glass to his throat as he reread over the text one last time before hitting send.

▲▼

Anna kissed Dr. Andrew.

It started off as a lunch date, to go over hospital files, and somehow ended with his lips on her. She didn't think of Niall, nor Harry though. When Dr. Andrew's tongue devoured her own she felt sick to her stomach with disgust. This wasn't who she was. Dr. Farley was never the woman to use another man as a distraction, at first she didn't even know she was doing it, but then again that's how most mistakes start.

It was the next week and every day he has asked her out to lunch. Everyday he had Harry's fiance in his office, walking out with messy hair. Everyday since, Anna has turned him down.

"Come on, it's just an hour break. We can look at the new hospital expansion diagrams the constructors drew up."

"We were shown them in the meeting Andrew."

"Why do you insist on calling me by my last name?'

"First names are unprofessional. Sort of like inviting ex fiances into your office."

Okay... she didn't say that last part, but it felt good on the tip of her tongue.

"I want us to be more then just professional."

Anna took a step back, feeling the weight of the paper she had in her hand. She had an appointment in 10 minutes, and had to make rounds in another 30. She also had to call her mother about family problems. The last on her agenda was something she was not looking forward too.

"I'll talk to you later Dr. Andrews."

Anna walked away from her latest mistake. It was something she did a lot. Harry and her had that in common, they could never truly face their battles. Out of fight or flight, they were both the ladder, pretending to be the first. It was a silly game, and conflicting to the soul.

Anna's phone rang in her pocket as she entered her next appointment ten minutes later. She could feel the vibration against her thigh, but it was rude to have your phone out at work, so without looking she turned it off.

III
i complain about writers block every damn chapter, but you guys don't realize how long i sit at my computer waiting for decent words to spill out. hope this is enough to make you stay. give me time *she said exasperated with her head against the keyboard*

if there are loads of comments on how you guys think ill post twice this week.