Muslimah in love

1. Engagement

A/N

Salaam/Peace to all who are reading. The reason I want to write this is because I love romantic novels, but it doesn't represent the romantic journeys of many Muslims. In most cases, it is different to the normal 'dating-then- marriage' system. Nowadays, marriage is complicated and people have misconceptions about arranged marriages -and Muslims! So, I thought why not write about it and here I am. This is my version and this story does not represent all Muslims! 

Happy reading! 

'This is awkward. Do you have any questions?' The gorgeous man asked me as if reading into my discomfort. I shook my head. Speak for God's sake, you look so stupid, I mentally scolded myself.

Finally, after countless marriage proposals, I was ready to say yes. I was always sceptical about the destined 'the one' business, but I think this man was it. I felt an instant attraction towards him. When he spoke, I found it difficult to meet his eyes and I didn't want to be rude and stare. They were a captivating hazelnut brown colour. His hair was dark brown and he had a lovely, neat beard, covering his sharp jaw and cheekbones. One box of mine was definitely ticked. Put it this way, this man was a ten in the looks department!  

At the same time, I didn't know how I felt. All I knew was that my time for marriage had come quickly: too quickly. I still remembered my ardent teenage feminist phase, believing that a woman should have the independence to be happy on her own; without needing men. I wasn't wrong about that. After all, I had lived twenty-three years of my life as an independent and single lady. I hadn't dated because it was marriage or nothing for me. However, after witnessing the glee and happiness on my married cousins' faces; envy nagged me. I too wanted a share of that happiness and have that radiant glow on my face.

Besides, it got lonely. When everyone else was giddily in love and spent all their time with their partners, I was alone at home, curled up reading romance novels or watching silly Youtube videos of random things.  So, at the age of twenty-one, I finally surrendered to the notion of marriage and agreed in fulfilling half of my religion, meeting the man who would sweep me off my feet and to have a family of my own. I suspect the increase in traffic from Romance novels, TV dramas and movies in my life may have influenced my decisions -slightly.

I returned to the present and watched as the man spoke again.

'Well, I do. If we do get...married,' he cleared his throat, 'We won't be living with my parents. So would you mind leaving this town and moving to London?'

I nodded slowly, but my mind was in a frenzy. London? It was on the other side of the country; so far away. I had attended a London University, but I knew I was returning home after the three years course. But this, this was a permanent move with someone one else, a man, a husband, all alone together without any of our families.

I willed myself to speak. I've spoken to men before, in class, shops, teachers, and my students. Conversing with lots of people was integral to my teaching profession. Why was I being so silly now? But this was different, so different; nerve-racking and tense.

'I like to travel, so I don't mind. It might be a good experience and... great.' I paused. My words had tumbled out without any of the confidence or control that I had when I had practised numerously in front of the mirror. This felt like an interview, not for a job, but for a life partner. Suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by the severity of the situation. I internally calmed myself down as silence descended upon us. I looked up and caught an expression of surprise pass his face and disappear within a split second. But I continued, 'You'll have to let me know beforehand because I'll have to change my job...if we do agree to get married,  that is.' I added.