Muslimah in love

30. Talk

Zaid's P.O.V

Zara had disappeared as if last night didn't even happen. At first I had thought that she'd return later. That is until i found the damn letter and the engagement ring. It hurt. Rejection felt horrible like a knife through the heart. So, i decided to give her some space. She would come back. I had no doubt that she would.I just had to be patient. 

Almost a month later, well to put it correctly three weeks and 3 days later, my pain formed into relentless anger. I felt deflated but it didn't stop the anger boiling inside me turned towards the catalyst for my relationship breakdown-My father. He was to blame. He was to blame for everything.

In the letter, Zara had explained Sonia or Jasmin coming to see her. I had made Jasmin go over and explain the truth about us. Clearly, there were even greater truths that i hadn't known about. She had continuously lied to me, played with me and toyed with me. I accepted the fact that i was to blame before my  marriage but after? She and my father had purposely lured me. No, it was my father. I couldn't believe it. I had been played so badly. But then again, Allah had tests us individually, and i took blame for my part. I was glad that I had broken up with Jasmin and Allah had bought Zara and I back together. But i had lost her all over again. How could this happen? How could she do this to me? I had bought the house. That was my point.To prove to myself and to her that i wanted to start our family and our marriage to last for eternity. I would rather work for my father than lose her. Could she not see that?  

I needed to talk to her. Logic would say to go over to her friends house, where she was obviously staying. But i needed to deal with my problems first. I was angry and upset. I needed to get my bearings together and also sort out my father. I would take from him what he valued more than money, even if he failed to admit it-my mother. I put some of my things together and left for my mothers house. Work could wait.

I pulled up outside my parents house. The last time i had been here was with Zara. We has shared a lovely weekend, the end ruined by my argument with Dad. Despite everything, i knew i had been unreasonable with my father, in my youth. I was ready to accept his offer, but not anymore. The house no longer looked daunting because i was ready to fight back. After my mistakes, i submitted to my father. It hadn't been enough. It never was was with him.

I went into the house using my own set of keys. It was empty. I wondered what was the point in having such a large house when there was hardly anyone living in it. 

'Zaid, what are you doing here?' My mothers voice startled me. I turned around and just shook my head. 

'She's gone. She's left me.' 

'Aww, Zaid.' My mother said and came and hugged me. My arms were limp by my side. I lifted them up and hugged her back for a long time. Yes i was man, over towering my own mother, but i returned to being her little boy in her embrace. i just needed the feeling that I wasn't alone and she was there to help me back onto my feet. We ate in a comfortable silence, which was good.

After, we had settled down in the living room, i told my mother my pathetic story. She just listened and didn't interfere, until i was finished. A heart to heart with my mother was something i had never done. We had talked but about casual things. I usually kept most things to myself. But this was somethings i needed to share it with. 

'Zaid, i'm not happy with how you treated her at all. She has every right to be angry, but she forgave you.'

'How? She's gone.'

'Oh, Zaid. you silly boy, she only did that because she clearly loves you.' 

'She left me, she rejected me.'