Muslimah in love

28. Revelations

I didn't know whether to turn back or face her, but before I could make up my mind, she had seen me. Nonethless, she dind't look like her usual self. 

'Seriously!' I shook my head and attempted to walk past her. Sonia grabbed my arm and i shook it off.

'Zara, please let me explain-'

'How dare you come here?' I exclaimed. 

'That doesn't matter. Please just listen to me.'

'Listen to you? Why would I want to do that after everything?'

'Please just give me a chance to explain the truth.'

'The truth? You've just ruined a marriage. Why would i even listen to anything that comes out your mouth?' I walked past her towards the flat door.

'There's always two sides to a story, so before you do anything, at least listen to me. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. There are things that you must know.' She pleaded, 'I beg you.'  Sonia never begged and here she was doing just that. I couldn't help but view her with suspicion. Was she going to manipulate me into believing her lies or did she really want a chance? But something told me that she was being honest. All her previous air of arrogance had disappeared and in front of me was a women who seemed desperate to speak her version of events. I decided that I would listen but wearily. 

'Ok, you got five minutes.' I said turning around and looking at my watch. I folded my arms and waited for her to start her story.

'Do we need to do this out here?'

'Clocks ticking.' 

'Fine. Ok. None of this is Zaid's fault. It's mine. But not all of it. '

At that i couldn't help but snort. Of course she wasn't going to blame herself entirely. 

'Just listen to me before you judge me ok.' Sonia said as if she could read my thoughts.  'Before you got married,Zaid and I got to know each other. He wanted to do it to the correct way by marrying me so we never did anything, you know. We just hung out.  But that's not the worst part, i was already... married to Derek.' She closed her eyes as if she was reminsicing some memories.

'Derek?' I asked interrupting her thoughts. 

'My husband. He converted for me. We got married secretly and then i met Zaid at university. It was so easy because Derek was in Europe and I was alone. So it was easy to talk to Zaid, He listened. He's a gret listener isn't he? Anyway, when he told me about the fact that he had told his parents about marrying me, I decided to leave and join Derek to start over.' She gulped.  

'Hold on.' I said, putting up my hands. 'He said Jasmin, you, was a divorcee and that's why he his parents didn't let him marry you.'

'I lied. I was married at the time. I was never a divorcee. I lied so he didn't find out about my marriage and in a sense because it was easier to be with him that way and not loose him but i lost him anyway. Then after a few months you married him, and  I was determined to win him back because... i was jealous of you. I've always been jealous of you.' She said, her voice sounded bitter. 

'Me?' I looked at her in disbelief. 'Sonia, why on earth would you be jealous of me?'

'Your Miss Perfect; the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect muslimah, the perfect wife. You've got the perfect family. Even when Zaid was with me, he'd never stop talking about you. Do you know what it felt like, being constantly compared to you? I had to compete with you. You seemed to have everything just come your way, without even trying, while i had to go to extreme length.'