Against The Odds || joshler ||

Ch. 32

Tyler was broken beyond repair.

It was getting too much for him, only three days without Josh and he wasn't eating, talking and yeah, he was alive, but only physically.

Mentally, he was already dead and he couldn't handle another day without Josh.

The days without him felt like years, he knew if he kept trying to go on without his boyfriend then one day he'll forget about him.

Tyler didn't want that, he always wants to remember Josh.

And that's why he snuck out for the last time ever.

Not even bothering to say goodbye to anyone and went to the roof, a bag on his back and jacket worn like always, he never took it off, not even showering cause what's the point?

On the roof, his heart clenched when seeing the blanket, helmet and bag Josh put up there three days ago, right before he died.

Tyler felt a lump forming in his throat as he moved to the edge of the roof, opening his bag and sat the picture of him and Josh on the end of the roof, the one he printed out from when they took selfies.

He smiled weakly, the picture was Josh kissing his cheek, a big grin and blush on Tyler's face.

He misses Josh, more than anyone could imagine.

Tyler then took out candles, sitting them by the photo and took a lighter that belonged to Josh, lighting them and sighed sadly when the lighter died afterwards, as if it was a sign.

He took out the CD, his mask from the party and the bag of skittles Josh left for him, laying them out and eyes watering as memories flooded like a wave of emotions he didn't want to feel.

"I miss you," Tyler whispered croaky, staring at the picture of them and tightened the jacket around his body, smelling the scent of Josh's cologne that was fading more and more, just like the boy himself.

He looked up, blinking back the tears and continued speaking as if Josh was there,
"I really miss you, Josh. I love you. I wish you were here, you always held me when I was sad and now you cannot. What am I suppose to do without you here? It's so hard to be happy when the only person who made you smile is gone. I miss your laugh, your smile, and your way of making everything seem better than what it was, how you looked out the bright side of life and how you brought out the true me. You didn't care that I was different, you encouraged it,"

Tyler spoke with a small smile, wiping his teary eyes. "You once told me; You can't live in fear forever, cause in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. You're the one who showed me how to live and now that you're gone I don't have any reason to go on,"

Tyler sniffled a bit, a soft sob leaving and there was a strange breeze that caused him to shiver slightly.

It was so drastic, dramatic and people wouldn't understand, but he wasn't happy.

Before Josh showed up, he was miserable and ever since Josh walked into his life, Tyler was happier than ever, even if his parents hated him.

Josh made it worth it.

All he wanted to do was run away with Josh, but the universe didn't want that.

They were starcrossed lovers.

To them, they were meant to be together, but everyone else didn't want them to be and fate showed them that no matter what, they wouldn't work out.

And if Josh had to die to show that, Tyler had to follow and show them wrong.

They're staying together, no matter what.

Because he's only happy with Josh, though destiny didn't believe that.

"I love you, Josh. I know you would not want me to do this, but I have to. I need to be with you, and I hope you understand, cause we were suppose to be together for a thousand years, remember? We were suppose to love each other for a thousand years and I plan on keeping it that way,"

Tyler stood up, getting the pills from the bag and a bottle of water, taking them one by one and listened to the voice mail Josh left, his voice so sweet and innocent.

Not knowing those were the last words he ever spoke.

"Hey Ty, I don't know if I'll be back in time, but if not then I should tell you I had to go get the tickets. I'll be back soon though and I left a present for you, I love you Tyler, see you soon."

He will see him soon.

And yeah, Tyler sounded so crazy and probably looked it. Just gulping down all the pills while sobbing and listen to a voice mail sent from a, now dead, person.

But it doesn't matter, nothing matters anymore except that he needs to see Josh.

He stood up, walking toward the edge of the roof and sung quietly in a croaky voice,
"I have died every day waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. Time stands still beauty in all he is... I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me."

Tyler took a breath, looking over the edge of the roof and his hands were shaking, body trembling a bit as the tears kept falling.

He clenched his eyes shut, ignoring how cars were speeding on the road below him as he took a step, whispering quietly, "One step closer..."

Suddenly he heard a familiar voice,
"Don't do it, princess."

His eyes snapped open, glancing and saw a pale, almost transparent, person next to him.

Josh smiled sadly, dressed in white and was faded slightly and Tyler knew he was going crazy now as he heard Josh tell him,
"Please don't do this Tyler, you have your whole life ahead of you."

"I don't want to live it if you are not with me," He retorted, moving closer and closer to the edge, continuing, "I want to be with you. Only you. There is no reason for me to stay, I would be miserable without you. There's nothing keeping me here."

"Ty, baby, I know you think that now-"

"It's too late, I already took the pills,"
Tyler replied, then asked sadly, "Why aren't you happy? Don't you love me? Don't you want to be with me?"

Josh nodded frantically, going to hug him but realized he couldn't and sighed, "Of course, Tyler. I love you, for a thousand years, remember?"

Tyler questioned in confusion, feeling the pills starting to take a effect, "Then why don't you want me to be with you?"

"Because, I hate knowing you did this for me," Josh admitted, motioning to Tyler's skin, which was paling slightly and his depressing form consisting of bags under his eyes, tear strained cheeks and messy hair.

But, Tyler just said, "It wasn't just for you, it's for me too. I want to be happy, please let me be happy with you."

Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, Josh nodded reluctantly.

He noticed Tyler's sudden nervousness, memories of when Tyler was scared to jump off the cliff months ago reappeared and Josh reached for Tyler's hand, shocked when able to feel it in his, meaning he was already slowly dying.

Tyler looked at him with feared eyes, Josh giving his hand a squeeze and repeated what he said months ago, "We'll be fine. Just don't let go of my hand."

A weak smile formed on Tyler's face, him seeing the people staring up at the roof in confusion, some calling cops and he didn't care.

They couldn't see Josh, and he looked psychotic, but Josh told him, "We'll jump on three. I love you, princess."

"For a thousand years," Tyler added.

"One," Josh started, scooting closer to Tyler, their hands entwined.

Tyler clenched his eyes shut, breathing out, "Two."

They then said in sync, "Three."

And they jumped.