To all the readers:
Sorry po if di ako naka update for how many weeks. Been very busy. But here's take SEVEN. Sana makabawi ako with this quite long chapter. Enjoy Dabarkads! :)))
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Nicomaine
Everybody was running around. The house was full of people and it's just 8 AM in the morning. I walked down our familiar staircase, the buzz was getting louder as I move downward, I see people I'd recognize in a heartbeat and I see people I don't know, maybe because of the amnesia or I simply just don't know them period. Our house was in big disarray, every one's preparing for the big party this afternoon. Yeah, a party, for me, a thanksgiving party for my miracle, they always say that, that it's a miracle but honestly it doesn't feel like a miracle, well it doesn't feel like anything really, this whole thing is more like a void, a big void that suffocates the shit out of me. But here we are and I might as well accept this, it's just one afternoon, one day, I don't think it could do any more damage to me really. More damage than having this amnesia.
Everyone that I have worked in showbiz particularly in Eat Bulaga will be coming, or so my mother told me. I have been asking them about that actually, about the whole show biz thing and eat bulaga and me being an actress and things alike. But there's one thing I always forget when I am asking about stuff I can't remember, it's about my love life, I mean if I do have any? My heart always feels uneasy when I think about asking them this one question, I honestly don't know why.
But if I do have someone, if I do have some boyfriend of mine, why isn't he here with me now? What's taking him so long to resurface? Why didn't I see him in the hospital? I mean if he really is my better half and if he really loves me, he should be with me every step of the way going through this whole forgetting-who-i-am phase.
But if I see this "boyfriend" given the fact that I really do have one, if I see him, how would that make me feel? Where does that leave "us"? Knowing that I don't even remember that he exists.
That would be awkward I bet.
Really awkward.
RJ
I put the shower off. I grabbed my towel from the rack and wrapped it around my waist, I turn around and my eyes caught my reflection on the mirror above my sink. I look the same. Still white, still a little chubby, still sad.
But I just shrug off this blue feeling and got dressed.
Today is a big day for Nicomaine. Later this afternoon, she'll be introduced again to the Dabarkads. Her mom told me she was the one that insisted on having this party, she told me that Nicomaine needed this in order for her to understand what her life was before the accident. These are the things she forgot and these are the people she no longer remembers but they are all part of her life now and she has to know that ....and them.
But what about me?
Where does that leave me?
How am I supposed to fit in this roller-coaster?
I mean you just can't come up and tell someone that they love you and expect them believe you in an instant.
Love is a feeling. It grows. It that takes time.
And you can't force love.
Nicomaine
I can hear the cars outside parking, I can hear footsteps, and I can hear people, chatting, loudly. And I can hear my own heart, beating fast, I want to sneak a peek through my window but my feet won't move, and my hands felt weak and tired. I hate this feeling. It feels like one move and I'm going to throw up.