One Direction Prefrences and Imagines

Prefrence #79 "The End" (Requested)

WARNING: please don't read because love these are actually very triggering! they  contai n self harm and things of the matter, I love you very much!

NIALL: (Your POV) Those tears falling from your eyes? Those are worthless, or at least that’s what you tell yourself. Never break, never let anyone see how weak you really are. His intentions were never to turn you into him, but he knew how impressionable you were when you met. You used to know that crying was okay, until you met him, and now you know that you only cry when you want to show your opponent that you’re weak, and you never want to do that, so you never cry. You tried to save him from that bad place that he landed in, but you didn’t realize that you just sank into that bad place with him. He wasn’t trying to scare you, but how could you not be scared when he showed you that there is always something to be scared of. How are you ever supposed to trust anyone again? How are you ever supposed to trust yourself with anyone else again? You could never treat someone like he treats you, but that’s a possibility now because you’ve lived like this for so long. When you keep all of your pain inside, when you sit in bed every night and watch him cry in his sleep about something that you know he’ll never tell you about, that’s when it dawns on you that he’s contagious. This disease he carries with him infects everyone around him, especially the people he loves. You don’t remember the last time you shed a tear; however, the last time you screamed and used the foul language, that you were always taught was the worst way to express your pain, was just a few hours ago. You feel that shame every night. That deep depressing feeling in the very pits of your heart is all because of him. It wasn’t always like this. You two were the perfect couple. No one ever stood in anyone else’s shadow. You were always the happy one, you were the one that was supposed to bring him to a happier place again, but instead you lost your way. You won’t let it happen again though, and you won’t ever let anyone else get stuck in your bad place with you. Even if the means being alone. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing though. At least no one can hurt you again. You tap his shoulder and prepare for the oncoming storm you know that you’re about to start. It will be the last time though, and you can do it one last time. The screams start, and those words slip out again, “Fuck you! Fuck you! You’re the biggest bitch I’ve ever met! I know you’re cheating on me, you’re just being a little slut, and you’ll be back!” that’s the usual, you used to cry, but not anymore, until today, just one last time. You can cry one last time. “Oh you’re gonna fucking cry now! Good! Be a baby! SHOW ME HOW WEAK YOU ARE! LIKE I DON’T ALREADY KNOW!” He’s right, why are you crying? Why do you care what he thinks of you? Why do you care if he thinks you’re weak? You know you’re not. Almost like those were the words you needed to pull yourself out of the hole that he will always be stuck in, you stop crying. Not because of him though it’s because you don’t have to do anything because of him ever again. You can walk out of the door. You’ll always be broken. You’ll be cautious of that personality for the rest of your life. You’ll be scared of what you’re capable of until the day you die, but its better living like this. It’s better than living with someone who feels like everyone around him should be just as miserable as he is. You’ll try to forget, but you can’t forget these things. This kind of abuse doesn’t leave scars. The wounds it leaves stay open until the day you die. They make you stronger though. When you bleed for so long, eventually you don’t feel the pain anymore. So this is your life now, and you’re okay with that. There are pros and cons, but that one big pro outweighs all of the tiny little cons by a mile. Because you’ll finally be free again.

A/N this is a form of emotional abuse, and I want you to know that. I don’t want you to ever let anyone treat you like that because you are so much better than that. I understand though, believe me I do. It’s not easy to get out of these kinds of relationships. It takes a lot of strength, and it takes help. It’s harder to find help when you’re stuck with this kind of abuse because you don’t have any scars to show anyone, but If you ever need to talk about this. I am always here for you. If you ever think you are in an abusive relationship, but you’re not sure, come and talk to me. Abuse comes in many forms and is always dangerous. If you or someone you know is suffering from any kind of abuse please don’t hesitate to search for help.