Her, too.

Chapter 17

Her, too

Chapter Seventeen

October 24, 2014

Bey frowned as she opened the door for the unexpected guest. The last thing she needed or wanted was to entertain someone. Without looking through the peephole, Bey opened the door. It was as if her mouth grew dry in that instance.

"Shawn," she spoke cautiously. He looked so...sad and scared.

"You haven't returned any of my calls," he said softly.

"Shawn I–"

"Did you give up on me, Bey?"

Bey's entire expression changed. She watched him and immediately felt guilty. She had given up. Forced into her mind was the fact that he would never remember what they shared. He'd never remember the day she finally opened up to him or the time he was actually there for her when her mother died. Those were special moments to her.

She was at a lost of words right now. No one had ever roadsided her before.

"Can I come in?" Shawn asked while holding contact with her as best as he could. Bey nodded her head, stepping from his path. She closed the door behind him, locking it. Shawn didn't take a seat on the couch situated behind him. Instead, he remained standing with his hands in his pockets.

Bey secured the robe around her body and looked at him.

"I've heard nothing but great things about you," he started softly. "Everybody says that you have this big heart and you love...you really love. I see the pictures. I hear the stories. I'm sorry that I forgot you. I'm sorry I was driving the car that day, Bey."

The tears came falling too soon for her. She shook her head. He shouldn't be the one apologizing. It should be her.

"It's so hard," she cried. "I've told you everything. Everything. I feel so selfish and cruel, but it's hard when no one is in your shoes. I know it's not your fault, and you don't have to apologize for that. I'm not upset mainly because you don't remember me. I'm upset because as I sit and I tell you all these things, I realize I didn't tell you how much I loved you then. I didn't tell you when I started loving you. I ignored my feelings so long and so much with you that I grew angry with you when didn't care that your wife found out. I knew I loved you then, but I couldn't bring myself to utter the words."

Shawn watched her attentively. The other times she cried, he comforted her to get her not to, but this was something that he needed to see and hear. He bit down on his bottom lip. He was having an internal battle with himself due to the fact that as she cried, he still couldn't remember a damn thing.

"Have you given up on me?" Shawn asked her. He watched as she walked toward him. She stopped in front of him, which caused her to have to look up to him. Without her heels, she wasn't as close to his face anymore.

"Do you want honesty?"

"Don't lie to me. Please don't. I want to know what's going on in that head of yours," he said as he moved stray hair from her face.

"I did. It got so hard, Shawn. Everybody told me not to give up, but it's different for them. You remember Kim. You can Kim can laugh about things that have happened a long time ago. Solange? You barely knew her."

"But you said I liked her."

"You were fond of her. Hell, you're fond of her now. But me? I have to literally start over. I have to reintroduce myself to you. I have to open back up to you, bring up things that only you were supposed to know."

He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "I have been working in overdrive, Bey. I've been trying my damnedest to remember you. But I swear I don't have to remember you. I know I love you. When you came to the hospital that night, you came because you wanted to. You snuck in, stayed the night, and missed work the next day. I see your love, and I know I loved you."