Now that Rafael has been banned to live ten years in the realms of Hell, Iris is left behind to fight for herself. She has to live ten years without him, and he didn't even say goodbye, leaving only a letter in his wake. She can do it...right? Well...
Iris, My darling if you're reading this then it means that you're father and I are in major danger. We are in so much danger that we couldn't even get out of the house to save you. We were trapped. I am sorry. By now if you've gotten to this line then it means that we are dead and you woke up from your coma. God how I wished I could have been there. But alas God has told us that our time has come. I just wanted to say to you in the so little words I posses that I love you. You were the BEST daughter I could have ever asked for. You were there for me when I was down, you helped me to overcome my obstacles and you were my friend when I was in need of one. You're beautiful and strong and selfless and kind. You're amazing, loving, goofy, funny, adorable, and perfect in your own way. You are the women I have always wanted to be. You were the role model I looked up to. You my daughter will make an amazing women and an excellent mother. I am sorry my letter is short and I can't say more but I have no time. I wish you the best in your future and I will ALWAYS be there for you. You just have to know where to look. I wish I could have been a better mother for you and Thomas. You both are my angels and I love you both. I pray for you Iris. My sweet baby girl. I will miss you terribly. Xo❤️ Yours with so much love, Mom.
I cry and cry and cry. My mother is gone and she still took some of her spare time to write me a short letter. God... Please let them be in a safer more happier place now. They deserve it. I breathe deeply and look at the next letter. I know it's Rafael's before I even begin to unfold it. It's short like mom's but it's just as heart felt.
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I put down his letter and let my tears fall again. I can't believe that Damen, who has tortured me since day one, is actually gone. Everyone I know and love is... Gone. God that's insane. I fall back onto my bed and stare at the ceiling. What am I going to do? I have no clue. None at all. Putting both papers away I curl up on my bed and close my eyes prepared to sleep. As I let the darkness slide over me like a blanket I hear a soft, gentle voice whispering my name.
Iris... I roll my eyes because I know what's supposed to happen. So I ignore the voice.
Sleep tight my Iris... Breath tickles my cheek and as that voice disappears I look up. There my mother's, Thomas's and John's ghost hover. Smiling sadly at me. Their bodies shimmering like sun touching water. I squeak and meet my brothers eyes. "Thomas? No. You all died?!" They all nod and John comes over. His ghostly hand cupping my cheek, I may not have been your father for long. But the time I was granted were the best times of my life. You will ALWAYS be considered my daughter. I love you Iris we all do. We will miss you. I cry without realizing it and say "I'll miss you more. You guys are the ones that died not me. You have each other. Me? I have no one" the ghostly bodies all shake their heads and then they start to shimmer and disappear.
"NO! Please... Please stay. God I'm so, so, alone. Please don't go. Come back!!!" I'm crying so hard and snot is running down my face but I don't care. They all smile for the last time and as they disappear completely I close my eyes, imprinting their faces in my head forever.
Remember us... I lay back down and murmur "Always" *** I remember mom said to me once when I was younger, "sometimes we have to run through fear, not around it" and this memory strikes hard for me because all I feel anymore is fear. I'm scared of everything and everyone. My badass complexion is gone and I have nothing/no one left. Everyone I love is gone. It's weird actually. To be burying your parents ash, and charred bodies after they've died to be burying your brothers body as well. To see them disappear beneath the surface of the earth, and know that you're still standing and you don't know how.
It's been 3 months since all that happened. The death, ceremonies, deception, all of it. Now I'm numb and alone. School is my only escape. Sometimes I think of it as a refuge. But to be honest nothing ever feels like home anymore. I have a few relatives and my father-my biological one- are still alive. I shudder thinking that I may have to go live with father. Ugh... Just my luck if that happens. Could this get any worse? As I enter through the front of my house I throw my school bag down, flop on the couch and sigh. Nothing is even considered normal anymore. Tears escape my eyes but I know that deep down a healed scar is re-opening , and pain, anguish, fear, sadness, despair and lonesome is pouring out. My heart is bleeding tears as well. I don't even feel like me anymore.
Everything that made me, me... Is gone. God. Please help me I decide to get up and do homework instead of moping around. Mom wouldn't want this and neither would Thomas or John. C'mon Iris, buck up. You'll get through this. You still have Rafael. Yeah ok sure. He's gone too!! I won't see him for another 9 years and so many months. Ugh!!!!! Sitting down at the table I crack open my math homework and look at it.
It basically describes my life. Too many problems to solve and so little time. But as I start solving the problems I feel some hope flicker inside. Maybe I can turn my life around. Maybe I can have a happy ending. I just need to go at it slowly. Baby steps. Solving one problem at a time and I'll reach the finish line, eventually...
Maybe someday I can say "I conquered my fears!" But who am I kidding?
Blinking away the pain I sit at the table until my back hurts from hunching over, until my butt goes numb, until my overtired heart decides to go to sleep.
