Angels Redemption

Chapter twenty five: Giving up

(Iris's pov)

Dear journal,
...I don't know what to say. Maybe something like 'Hi how are you? I'm totally great other than the fact that my whole damn family is dead, the world was thrown for a loop, my boyfriend's brother is a maniac psycho, my supposed guardian angel is an envious bitch who's in love with my boyfriend. My best friend betrayed me. Oh yeah and my boyfriend is trapped in hell for ten years. So other than that everything is swell!' No I think not. But I can't say 'I'm fine!' Either. Because I'm not. I'm not ok. Everything inside of me is screaming and tearing itself apart from the pain that's raging it's storm in my heart. I feel like there's no purpose to life anymore. I have NO ONE left. No to hold my hand and say "we'll get through this together"

I'm all alone. And I miss everyone. I miss being normal, I miss waking up and having the same old routine. I even miss the stupid school bus. But no matter how hard I wish for 'normal' to come back I'm wasting my breath and energy because let's face it. I'll never be normal again. Life for me is now looking over my shoulder seeing who's going to try and kill me next. It's tiring. I don't know what to do anymore. And if you think me losing everyone is bad-it pretty much is- it's worse when you lose everyone on your DAMN BIRTHDAY!! Yeah that's right my seventeenth birthday gift was death. Thanks but no thanks.

I guess I'm going to have to suck it up, but it's not fair. Life's never fair. And I've been having the short end of the stick for so long I just want there to be some peace. No more death, no more hatred, no more sacrificing, no more anger. Maybe this time God could grant me that one wish and set everything right again? Yeah ok, who am I kidding.

Yours truly,
Iris.

Putting down my pencil I rub my eyes. Even my eyes are sore. It's ridiculous. Groaning I stand up from where I've been sitting on my bed. I've been pretty lazy and not upbeat like I used to be. So I've gained some weight and I am always tired. Deciding to change this I put on my tank top, sweats and throw my hair up. Grabbing my iPod I throw my earbuds in and march downstairs. Putting on my sneakers I open the door and enter into the open fresh air.

Looking left then right I head left and start with a light jog. Then I turn my iPod on, and play one song on repeat. "Skyscraper" by Demi Lovato. It reminds me of the time I'm going through and it helps me. It soothes me. Breathing in a pattern, I get my heart pumping and then I run. I let the wind spread its fingers through my hair and a small grin spreads on my face.

God I miss smiling...

(Rafael's pov)
I land with a thud in my home. Damen comes tumbling after me. I don't even bother to catch him. Rocco comes trotting into the room and as he gives me a happy bark, he sniffs my brother and growls warningly. Damen, after brushing him self off and regaining his senses, stands and looks around "not much has change since we were little" I roll my eyes. But I dare not reply. "Come on" I say in a gruff lice as I grab his arm and tow him towards the basement of the house. He tries to ask where we are going but I silence him with a glare.

After a short silence and quick walk, I make it to the stairs that lead down into the cool basement. Damen realizes what I'm doing and he starts to tug and pull and howl. But I'm stronger because my emotions are running off of anger. No rage. While his are running off of fear. "Please Rafael. Please don't leave me down there. Please not again." I tug him quietly. As we make our way down the stairs I open a door that leads to a room. It has a comfortable bed, and a bathroom but that's it.

I shove Damen in there and snarl "until I can figure out what to do with you, you are staying here. And you're only aloud out for meals, and some exercise. Capiche? And for the love of God STOP BEGGING!!! I'm tired of your excuses and you lame reasons. You are staying down here and that's FINAL!!!" I slam the door shut in his face and I hear his whimpered cries softly through the door. But I walk away before I loose my nerve and feel guilty. Walking up the stairs back to the house I can hear his voice carry all the way up with me.

"Brother please... Let me out. If you cared you'd let me out. Don't make me angry, because you know who will be my next target."

I slam my way up the stairs. As I enter into the hallway I rush to my room and plop down on my bed. God... What just happened? But it seems that God this time doesn't have the answers.
Growling in frustration I sit up and decide to go for a walk. As I enter into the living room I hear another whimper of fear. Looking up I meet Rain's blue eyes and I sigh again. "Please don't kill me" she says. I laugh softly "I'm not going to kill you. I'm not mad at you Rain. I'm just frustrated. I'm pissed at my brother though. I miss Iris and I hate feeling vulnerable because I know I can't protect her when she needs me to." Rain relaxes significantly. Walking over to her I give her a quick hug and I say "no matter how many times Damen begs to be let out don't let him out. He's dangerous and he'll kill anyone in his path." She shudders and pulls away.

"He won't kill me Rafael he loves me" I look sadly into her eyes and as I walk away towards the light of the day I whisper over my shoulder, knowing she can hear me, "sometimes love is just as dangerous and sharp like a knife. And it too can kill you slowly."

(Iris's pov)
After running my heart out for an hour, I returned home. Tired, deflated, but a little more happy. Plopping down on the couch I sigh softly and turn the tv on. I want to watch something that will take away my pain even for a little bit. But just as I'm getting comfy the front door slams open. Jumping to my feet, my heart racing I turn and am met with a very familiar face. "Saraphina?" I ask.

She smiles sheepishly. "Yeah it's just me" she closes the door and takes three steps towards me. Her hands raised in defeat. "What do you want?" I hiss. She sighs, plops on the couch and says "I've come to apologize." I look at her before slowly sitting on the edge of the couch. "Apologize for what?" "For everything." I look her in the eye but she continues. "I'm sorry Iris. I'm sorry for completely ruining your life. I'm sorry for all the attempts people have taken on your life. I'm sorry for envying you, and for being jealous. I'm sorry for being such a bitch and trying to make you hate Rafael." She huffs a breath and then continues.

"But mostly I'm sorry for trying to steal your boyfriend. I'm so sorry for kissing him. It wasn't my place and-" I cut her off by raising my hand. All the past hurts come flooding over me. Pouring over all the new ones, adding more holes in my battered soul. "Thank you for apologizing. But you didn't have to come in here and bring up past hurts. You didn't have to make me realize why I dislike you so much. You didn't have to make me remember I was pissed at Rafael for kissing you. But I'm not one to hold a grudge for long so..." I breath deeply and say the nest few words tightly

"You are forgiven." She hugs me so tightly I almost lose my breath. She lets go when she hears me gasping for air. For a few minutes of silence we look at each other. She smiles softly and then I ask her shyly "since you put the punishment of the ten years in hell on Rafael, do you think you could remove it?" She laughs softly and I smile tightly. "No I'm sorry. Once I put down a rule, or a punishment or a curse, it's permanent." I frown "you can't even shorten it?" She shakes her head solemnly. I flop on the couch everything in me sags. Everything in me wants to give up.

Saraphina grabs my hand tenderly and whispers "don't give up Iris. You'll see that everything will turn out in the end I promise." I look at the ceiling as I address her "but how do you know?" She mumbles "I just do." Then her light touch on my hand releases and as I look up I see that she's disappeared. Great. But I still feel empty. I still feel like something major is going to happen. Your psyching yourself out. I turn over on the couch then let my overworked body slip into oblivion.

If one more stupid thing happens I'm done. If one more crazy, life threatening thing happens I'm losing my cool. I'm giving up. I'm done and I'm tired.

Those are my last conscious thoughts as the hand of darkness pulls me down a tunnel of utter despair...