barrier // jjk [completed]

w

---Brinley POV---

Throughout the whole day, I found myself continuously going back to the journal no matter how hard I tried to resist it.

The last entry is important.

What did he mean by that? I thought to myself as I held the book in my hands; feeling the smooth cover against my hands as I turned it over.

It's right in front of me. Would it be so bad if I skipped a few entries? I conflicted in my head as I bit my lip softly.

My curiosity was beginning to get the best of me as I tapped my fingers on the journal, listening to the way my fingertips bounced off the padded material.

I couldn't hold out any longer.

I frantically skimmed through the journal, until the very latest entry.

And with shaking fingers and a throbbing chest, I started to read.

Diary Entry 100

Date: December 5th

I gulped.

That was only a couple days ago.

Brinley,

Hi.

You are probably wondering how my English is so good in this letter, and the truth is, it's not. I had some of my English friends help with it. Just thought I would let you know.

Ok.

Here it goes.

I just want to say thank you Brinley.

Thank you for being you.

Thank you for letting me be myself when I'm with you, thank you for being a tutor, because I would have never met you, and thank you for being the person that I just can't stop thinking about.

My breath hitched as I paused, then read on.

I'm so glad it's you. I'm glad you're the one who I think about when I first wake up, and when I go to sleep. You hurt me so much Brinley.

But I'm glad it's you.

Because, I'd be honoured to have a girl like you break my heart and shatter it into a million pieces.

But, I think I'm in love.

With you.

I'll explain more later, but I need you to know more first.

Everything about you makes me confused. I thought you liked me, then I thought you didn't, then I did, then I didn't, then I did, and now I'm probably in my room thinking that you don't.

And that's the whole point of this diary entry.

If you feel the same way as I do, meet me at the special park on December 8th where we shared our first real moment together.

My gaze darted to the calendar beside me.

December 8th was tomorrow.

My eyes widened.

If you don't remember when that was or where that is, a picture is below of a shot that I took of you when you thought I wasn't paying attention. I'm so grateful to be by your side, experiencing everything with you. From your first time in Korea, to your first time teaching English, to your first time eating Seoul street food, I savoured it all. All for you.

And sure enough, there I was, at the bottom of the lined paper, a picture attached of me with my favourite lilac sweater, laughing as if I didn't have a care in the world.

My eyes were stinging from tears starting to form at my eyes. I sniffled, then continued.

God, you're so beautiful Brinley. I'm sitting here, in awe, of just how perfect you are to me. And I'll never give up on you. No matter how we communicate, in any language, I will always be wanting you.

And I think that's how I knew I was too infatuated with you for it to be ignored. And I know you have flaws, and I love those even more.

Because it just shows that you're real, and you're all mine.

Possibly.

It all depends on you.

But I'll be waiting.

I'll be waiting forever if I have to.

And I'll tell you everything.

I promise.

Jeon Jungkook x

At this point, tears had already threatened to spill and had spilt all over the diary, and the pages Jungkook had written on.

But it wasn't because I was sad.

I was overjoyed.

All my muddled emotions had now become crystal clear, and all my questions had been answered.

I was going to meet him, and I didn't care what anyone thought.

I still had some things to figure out, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to stand him up, and let this chance that he was giving me waste away.

I knew that I cared about him immensely, and that I when I read his letter, it made me feel like I was worth something.

Like I was truly and deeply loved.

I snuggled into my covers, closed my eyes, and smiled for the first time in a while, with my happy tears staining the pillow.