Paper thin // Joe Sugg au

*4*

"Joe, a-are you-" I got cut of suddenly when he pulled me into a tight hug.
I felt as if i was in an awkward position. But then I also felt comfortable.
I could feel and hear Joe's almost silent sobs, I lifted my arms and wrapped them round his neck.
"She'll be alright" I whispered, trying to be calm but also not believing a word I'd said. "She'll be out of hospital soon. Gosh, I'm so sorry Joe! It was all my fault. I asked her about Alfie, like you asked me to, but she stormed out and-and i didn't stop her! She was in the road and I could hear the car coming but she couldn't. I told her to move, to get out the way. I should have done so much more! I should have run out and pushed her to the side, pulled her onto the pavement or at least let the car hit me, I do deserve that..." I fell silent as Joe lifted his head up and raised h is hands to my face; with one hand on each cheek he began to talk.
"No, Milly, You don't deserve that! Don't you see? She did all this because of the stupid question that I wanted to know an answer to just because I didn't think she trusted me! It's my fault you asked her so it's my fault that she walked out. Mills, i'm so sorry"
There was silence for a bit. His hands were still on my cheeks and our noses were only millimetres apart. I could feel his unsteady breathing.
We looked into each others eyes, reading each others expressions. I fell into thoughts of how close we were, of how close his lips were to mine, of how blue his eyes were; how you could get lost in those perfectly blue eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, too." The moment was ruined.
Joe hesitated then lowered his hands. He let out an awkward laugh, looked up, smiled and began to talk.
"Er, I better get going. Need to see if Zoe is okay, check visiting times at he hospital and I should probably ring my parents."
"yeah, I should probably tell mine what happened. You know, they'll be just as concerned"
"Yeah. Oh! Before i leave-" Joe looked hurriedly around him before picking up a pen. He looked around again, tutted and grabbed my wrist.

"My number, so we can meet. Zoe was your closest friend, you probably don't have many other's." He blushed slightly. I couldn't tell whether he'd just offended me or if it was an act of kindness.

"Erm, thanks? I guess I'll see you around"

"Soon?" He smiled awkwardly, itching the back of his head. I felt bad, he was really trying to be kind. He obviously knew that I hadn't really ventured out for more friends after becoming close with Zoe.

"Yeah, course!" I nodded politely as he shuffled out the door. " Joe, I'm here for you. I know we haven't really been close for ages but trust me, I'll always be here"

"I know, that's who you are. You're always a good friend. I'm always here for you too, believe me. Call whenever " He looked down at my hand with the number on it and walked away.

...

"It was quite awkward. I just don't know whether it was a moment or just me being - I don't know - silly?"

"Pour your feelings out, it's for the best" Nikole winked. Nikole was mine and Zoe's other best friend. I often felt bad for her, she was mainly a tag along. We did include her: invited her round for sleepovers, had days out with etc. but she wasn't as close to us like Zoe and I. We were never mean to her it's just she was in and out of our lives more than boys.

"I have no feelings, Nikki! Not that I know of..." I trailed off, thinking hard.  looked up and saw Nikki raising her eyebrows with a matter-of-factly expression on her face. "No, Nikki! None! It's just hard to explain. I felt like I was close with him again. I know us being close was nothing, we were young, and it'll probably mean nothing now with what Joe's going to be going through with Zoe..." I teared up a little. We didn't know for sure what had happened but we knew she wasn't okay. "I just want to be close with him again. I don't know if it's because of Zoe or if it's just the hug being reminiscent of us being close but...I miss them times" The smug look on Nikki's face made me tut which made her titter. 

"Heyyy! We haven't had a sleepover together in ages! Come round mine tonight, we can have girly chats and talk more about this. You know when it gets late it's easier to let your thoughts spill" She smiled brightly but soon began to frowned slightly "That's if you're okay with it - you don't have to, I know it'll remind you of being with Zoe. It's okay..."
"No, no! I'll be fine. Thank you, Nikki" I nodded reassuringly.

"No problem, that's what friends are for" She giggled, making me laugh too.

A/n: I'm trying to make these longer but I think they're just getting shorter (oops). I would love it if you guys left some feedback on how to improve or what you think may happen! I'll always be open to constructive criticism!