Paper thin // Joe Sugg au

*22*

"The visiting times will be ending soon" I stated, stirring some ketchup around with a chip. Joe and I hadn't spoken much while eating. He hadn't done anything wrong but I was trying to block out the memories. I wanted my mind to flow but it was blocked by the inevitable conclusions and the disrupted memories.

"We can go now if you want. Have you heard from any them?" He replied, his voice soft. I shook my head. I didn't know whether to feel worried about Nikki and Alfie or not; They hadn't texted me and we hadn't seen them around. I considered phoning them but decided not to, they would be fine.

--

I didn't want to open the door. Knowing what was behind it, knowing it was my best friend behind it, was enough to make me hesitate. I turned to Joe who was stood against the wall opposite.

"Aren't you coming in?" I questioned.

"Yeah, I just... need to do something first. I'll be back in ten, okay?". I nodded my head slightly and he was off down the corridor.

I didn't know what to do with myself. People were walking up and down the corridor, smiling as they passed by. All I could was weakly lift the corners of my mouth up. I needed to suck it up and just enter but the guilt on my shoulders was pushing me down. I felt a heaviness at the bottom of my stomach and a lump in my throat. Without thinking, I burst into Zoe's room.

She was there but not. All these wires were attached to her, it was hard to tell which was which.

"Oh gosh" I muttered. It still shook me every time, no matter how many times I'd see her: I'd never get used to it.

"My mum was rushed in today. I think she's dying. That should have been harder to say, shouldn't it? Gosh, I'm such a sh.it daughter. I've messed up so many times with her but I miss her so much. Joe's gone somewhere... he'll be back soon. We've been getting close again, Joe and I. I hope that's okay with you. I was dared by Nikki to ask him on a date and he agreed. I haven't told him that because... I don't know... there could be something there... I hope that's okay with you too. I want to go on that date. I haven't update my blog since the incident, only one explaining that you'll be gone for a while. I love you so much Zoe, I'm sorry for all this. I miss you and need you and I'm not okay but you'll be, okay?"

"She will be fine, you know that right?" Joe frightened me, making gasp loudly. He had a point. I keep saying that she'll be fine but do I really believe that? Or am I trying to convince myself?

"Yeah did you-"

"I can wait, I come down here often enough anyway, she won't want to hear what I've got to say right now" He smiled softly.

"Are you sure...", He was nodding his head so I changed the subject, "I texted Nikki they should be outside so we can go meet them now? I kind of want to make sure Alfie is alright, too"

Joe took my hand in his and led me out of the room. It wasn't like we were holding hands though because this time a rush of sparks rose up my arm.

A/n~ I was blocked so I struggled to write much. Therefore, I apologise if this is a bit bad, boring or whatever!