Paper thin // Joe Sugg au

*9*

Sometimes it doesn't take a lot for you to know how much some one means to you. Sometimes you don't realise how much they meant to until they leave. Sometimes when they come back all you want to do is fight for them to stay.

This was what I felt with Joe.

I didn't love him. I just needed him. I needed him to be beside me. I needed him to cheer me up. I needed him to put a smile on face. I needed his company. I needed him.

His smile spread across his face and his laughter was the only thing I could hear. I had to admit, his laugh alone could make my day. It was like a million rainbows in one sky; So rare but unmissable.

I laughed heartily at his joke that I didn't actually hear. I was to busy appreciating the fact that he'd walked in on me and that he had offered to take me to starbucks.

"Thank you, Joe. I really appreciate this" I say, looking up at him.

"No problem. I did tell you that you're paying, right?" He looked at me dead serious then began to laugh. I shook my head.

"Di.ck" I mumbled while he laughed harder.

We entered the starbucks and Joe ordered while I found a table to sit at.

It was fairly empty except for a few teenagers, parents with 10-12 year old kids and a old couple. I focused on them for a while. I didn't mean to stare but i got lost in my thoughts. They were old, probably just been to the hospital for some sort of check up, bu they still come to coffee shops like these to have a chat and be happy.

"One pumpkin spiced latte. You are such a basc bi.tch" Joe chuckled.

"It's not my fault that it's my favourite" I say, pouting.

...

We sat for at least two hours just talking, laughing and reminding ourselves of memories.

It felt so good. It was like my brain was being refreshed and the vivid memories I had stored away were being found again.

"Remember that one time you were drinking something and I made you laugh and you laughed so ... hard that it ... came out ...of your nose and... you started choking" I was in hysterics and unable to control my raucous laughter. Joe blushed, shook his head and joined in with the laughter. Everyone around us was staring and some were smiling too.

It had emptied a bit now and it was edging closer towards evening.

"Oh my gosh! it's nearly 5!" I tried to say seriously but I still had the giggles.

"We should probably get going" Joe said, standing up. I sighed mentally and forced myself to get up too.

"It's been nice" I smile, grabbing my bag and digging through my bag "here" I hold out £10 for Joe to take seeming as he brought the drinks.

"No, it's fine. Why don't we go back to mine? You don't have to if you're busy-"

"Of course i'm not busy! Didn't you just move though? You sure it's alright if I come over?"

"Yeah but it's fine. Only my bedroom stuff is up but it's not an issue, right?" I shook my head in response and we began to walk out of starbucks. Joe began to nudge me so I nudged him back and we did this up until the door.

"Look at them! Remember when we were like that, George? I'd say being in love then was so much easier" A lady said as Joe held the door open for me.

"Oh, no. We're not a-" I looked over at Joe as he blushed "thing. We're best friends" The lady let out a short chortle and nodded her head.

"Aaah, yes. That's what they always say, hey George?" The man sitting opposite her bowed his head to agree. I could feel my cheeks going red as I quickly left the coffee shop.

I looked over at Joe who's head was bowed and his cheeks were still tinted pink from blushing. He looked up, suddenly, and picked up his pace so he was a little bit in front of me. I could still see the side of his face though and, from what I could see, he was deep in thought. I could tell he was deep in thought. His eyes were focused on one thing and he was biting at his lower lip. I used to love his deep in thought face. It would give me time to analyse it. Not in a weird way, just a way that would tell me if he was okay. Like, I could tell if he hadn't been sleeping, eating or if he'd been beating up or done something bad. I could tell if his thoughts were leading him somewhere dark or if they were making him happy. His deep in thought face was something I hadn't seen in years.

In the present moment I began to analyse. He was thinking fairly hard, it was something happy but something that was sad as well; two sided. He was doubtful about it but was also hopeful; controversial. I moved on to his eyes. Not the deep blue colour and not the thick eyelashes that I wished to have but dark circles, the bags. He'd been sleeping but not till late. I'm not surprised with the whole youtube career and all but every night? Was he just unable to sleep? Was he out with his mates? Or were his thoughts getting the better of him? I then began to focus on him. How his eyes glittered in the autumn sun to how his jawline looked so much better today. He looked well but was he well?

He looked troubled but I didn't want his deep thought face to go away.

"Joe? Are you okay?" I asked. His deep thought face was replaced by a confused one.

"Oh, er, yeah. Fine, why?" He quickly looked down, he obviously knew he had made it obvious.

"Are you sure? You looked worried"

"I'm sure" He let me catch up and began nudging me again. For the rest of the walk to the car park we were laughing and nudging each other. I was so happy that we were friends again but deep down I had oppugn feeling.

A/n- I think this is alright? Again, I had no time to grammar check and I really wanted to just get this up! I hope this is (sort of?) fluff. I'm not sure tbh. I used a new word that literally has not got a single definition on the internet (Google ik you are good but still, step up your game! Bing had the damn definition). Hope you enjoyed :)