How Did We Get Here // Luke Hemmings & Zayn Malik

Chapter 56: It's Feet

being pregnant feels weird. Having to constantly drink vitamins and eating pure healthy food. Needing to do more exercise and going to weekly doctor's appointments with my mom and Harry. As a teen, this feels new and awful. I can't be a normal teenager; I don't think I will ever be the same.

Sometimes when Harry sleeps over, I just kind of tell him how I feel. How sometimes I wish this was all a dream. Could I have chosen the wrong plan? But Harry made me realize that I'm just scared.

He's right. I'm scared. After Vicky's funeral, I just started thinking about me. What if I die at child birth or what if the child does? What if anything happens to us? It's scary.

Being in charge of life is scary overall.

Poor Zayn calls me any chance he gets. Honestly I don't think I could have gotten through this without Zayn. I mean without him I'm completely shattered. I just wonder how he's doing. He doesn't really talk about his feelings much with me. He does the occasional "It's scary." Or "this gives me the chills." I just wish I could make him feel better because I know Zayn, and he's dying inside. I know he thinks that it's all his fault and stuff but it's not.

Zayn got a job working at a frozen yogurt shop with Michael and Arlene. They got jobs to support us with our financial help with the expenses of being pregnant.

Louis told me that my dad offered him a job with his firm.

As for myself, I started working too. I didn't want to be the pity person and take advantage of my friends so I took a job at Target. Three days later Harry got employed too.

Having this support system really comforts me.

Today my mom was taking me to the doctor's. Another annoying check up. Those places are uncomfortable and cold for me. It gives me chills.

Harry was going to tag along with us but Lux needed a babysitter. So I was waiting for my mom in the living room when Wilbert run inside the house "Your mom couldn't make it, come on, I'm taking you." I love Wilbert but it just real weird going with me. I mean he's a guy. Well I know Harry's a guy and I've known Harry longer. It just feels weird.

The nurse splatters the cold gel and I can feel a little shift happening in my stomach. She rolls it with the control. Then Wilbert laughs "look at that! Its feet." He points at the screen. I see it. Sudden joy filled my heart. I chime in with his laughter. My nurse laughs "Yeah. It's forming. You're what, Three months now?" I nod no "Four months two days from now." She chuckles "You're so small for three. But hey at least you're keeping track of your baby. You posses the good qualities of being a mother."

I cough.

I haven't thought about it much.

Wilbert takes me home and I rush in. I slam the photo on the table, looking at my mom and Harry with Lux "Look! My baby!" the hover over it. Lux frowns "Where's the baby?" we laugh.

At night, Harry was massaging my feet "So, you seemed pretty excited about the picture." I grin "Harry, I saw it's tiny feet." Harry sighs "So are you thinking of keeping it?" I close my eyes and sit down; moving my feet away from him "I don't know. I mean I haven't talked to Zayn about it." Harry scoffs "You're the mom, you have more say than he does." I click my tongue and hug him "Let's stop talking about it. I don't need to worry about that right now." Harry stands up, looking at me "Emma, you're four months now. Five months till your due date. You haven't looked for adoptive parents. You haven't even thought about your delivery doctor. And you're leaving the states in a month. Remember the switch. You're going to be in London."

I didn't want to think about it. But Harry was right, I needed to.

I stand up and hug him "Please be with me when I deliver Harry." He kisses the top of my head "I will try Em's." I sigh "Take two weeks off of school. I need you to be there Harry." He sighs "Like I said, I will try Em's."  

I already got the bump. Just staring at the mirror was horrible. It's a tiny bump but it's big for me. Everyone at school now knows. I would think people would be mean to me but they weren't. I think it has to do with the fact that I knew them all since kinder-garden.

My mom had to buy me those pregnant pants and shirts already. She tells me that regular pants aren't good for the baby. So much things I need to know and learning still.

It's hard being pregnant.