How Did We Get Here // Luke Hemmings & Zayn Malik

Chapter 57: Please Mom

As my mom woke me up for breakfast, I could feel the baby moving inside me. It felt weird and scary, like something was growing inside of me, which it actually was happening. But then it felt nice, warm even.

I slip on my sandals and walk to the kitchen.

Since Vicky's death, walking around the house hasn't been comfortable. I miss her a lot. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. That's how much I miss her.

Today for breakfast it was just me and my mom. Wilbert and Harry ditched us and went out for some manly guy time. They went hiking or fishing, something like that.

My mom made me a pure healthy green juice and sliced apples and bananas for me. Usually I wouldn't even touch the juice but I had to for the baby. I had to change everything since the baby. I have to be extremely careful with what I eat, how I sleep, I even have to be careful on how I bend down. My mom even forbade me to carry heavy loads of laundry. At points I want to scream because having the baby has restricted me so much, I can't enjoy most of my day. But then at night, I fall in love with it. I cease the top of my belly, I sing it lullabies and I talk to it. I think I fell in love with my baby.

My mom sighs, getting my cup and washing "So Emma, we need to talk." I smile "What about?" she puts the cup away and sat in front of me "Emma, we need to talk about the baby." I can feel the chills run down my spine. I sigh "I still don't know yet mom." She holds me hand, supporting me "I know sweetie but you're about to be five months and you're going to be in London with your father for the delivery. We just need to get you ready for that transaction." I look at her, not knowing if I should ask "Mom, can I ask you something?" she smiles "Anything Em's."

I really do want my baby, I really do want to raise it as my own but I don't think it would be a good idea. I mean look at us, were teenagers. We don't know anything about parenting, I know I really don't. And even if we did, we would have no education and have to work two shifts so my child could have the best. It would be a disaster. "Mom can I still see my baby after I sign the adoption papers?" she sighs, letting go of my hand "Mm, they do have what you call an open adoption. It's when the biological parents can still have access to see the child. But they're very few of those cases. It would be a miracle if we find a case like that Emma." I nod "I just want to know what's happening in my child's life. I want an open adoption mom." She grins "What does Zayn want?"

Zayn leans more towards adoption as far as I know. I mean he hasn't said he wants that option clearly. We really don't discuss it much. But I would have to make sure what's going on.

I sigh "I really don't know." She chuckles, standing up "Well, find out by today, so we can start searching for parents."

Just the thought of giving my baby away to strangers doesn't suit me well. I need to know if my baby is beyond happy with them.

I call Zayn. I know he's tired from his shift at work but I think it's time to rip open the bandage.

He answers by the fourth ring "Emma?" I giggle "Did I wake you?" he groans a bit "Not at all." I roll my eyes "Okay superman." He laughs "Okay, don't believe me." I close my eyes "Zayn, we need to talk about what were going to do with the baby."

I can hear him shifting in his bed "okay." I sigh "Do you want us to give it up for adoption?" he stays silent for a moment "I mean Emma, I do. But I'm just being reasonable here. But I want you to chose what you think is right for the baby and us." I can feel the savage butterflies in my stomach again. I just want to be able to kiss him "I want an open adoption Zayn. It's where we have some access to the baby's life." He sighs "Then that's what we'll do." I stare at the floor for a bit before asking "how are you doing Zayn?" he exhales sharply "I'm doing okay. I mean working with Michael and Ar..." I cut him off "no Zayn, how are you doing emotionally?"

I can hear him choking on his saliva "you really want to know?" I bit down on my tongue "Yes." he whispers "I'm terrified Emma. I mean it kills me that I can't be with you at all times, that you're doing this without me. I mean I love it when you face time me for doctor visits and call me about certain things but I want to be there holding your hand and it kills me that I'm not."

I whisper back "But really don't feel bad. I mean I've annoyed Harry so much with my hormones that I made him cry once." He scoffs "Emma, it isn't funny. I want to be the one you annoy. I want to be the one who cries because I can't stand you anymore. I was the one who made you like this. I should be there enduring everything." I laugh "Zayn to you hear yourself? You're acting as if you raped me. We both agreed to this. Maybe not conceiving but we knew what we were doing and we knew that it lead to making babies. It is not your fault Zayn. Don't ever say that again. I mean it or else when I go back, I'm gonna make you go insane." His voice lightens "What do you mean move back?"

I giggle "Six months in Cali and six months in London. Remember, that's how I got knocked up in the first place." He laughs "Yeah I know but I assumed you were going to stay with your mom since she's an OB." I chuckled "Now you're not getting rid of me that easily. I'm going back. Besides remember Jane, my doctor that operated my hand? We'll my mom called her and since she's chief of surgery, she agreed to deliver our baby."

We talked for a while until I heard him yawn. I said good bye and went to my mom's room. I really don't go up stairs anymore. Not since I came back.

She was sitting in her bed, with her laptop open and papers all over the place. I look around the room and it was still the same way I remember it. She hasn't changed not one bit, my dad's favorite painting hanging, my dad's ugly curtains and the same bedding they chose seven years ago.

She smiles "What's up babe?" I sigh "Zayn and I want an open adoption mom." She looks up from her gaze, looking at me carefully "yeah okay but you guys need to consider the possibility that it may not be the case." I break down in tears "I really need to know if my baby is going to be okay. I need to or else I don't know how I could live with myself." She clicks her tongue, rushing to me "you got attached Emma. Oh baby." I cry "it's my baby mom. It's our baby. I, I need this mom. Please." She rubs my back "of course sweetie, I will go to the beyond. Just breathe okay."

In the afternoon, the guys came over. They were hyped up on testosterone and sweat. I told them about our plan. Harry grins "So we're going to be able to visit the kid?" I laugh "Yeah." Harry kneels next to me, putting his face in my stomach "Hear that munchkin! I'm still going to be your uncle Harry." Wilbert laughs "I'm glad. I was afraid to get too attached to the baby but now I can talk to it all the time." I chuckle "That's right; no one has talked to my baby. You guys we're afraid of that." Harry looks up, rubbing my belly "I was. I didn't want to get attached and be heart broken when they take it away but seems that won't be a problem now is it munchkin."

Afterthat, Wilbert, my mom and especially Harry wouldn't stop touching my belly ortalking to it. It felt weird at first but then the baby got used to it andstarted moving around when it heard them. It got happy to hear them, and to me,it felt weird, like it knew them. It was just mind blowing.